The Chronicles of Monkey and Bubs

Date Night

2010-09-06T22:16:00.003-05:00

This afternoon the boys woke up from their nap and Bubs had a 102.1 fever. So our plans to get out as a family were a smidge derailed. I'm bummed, but trying to stay positive. I'm really hoping it's a teething fever. So since Monkey and I were fever free, Daddy offered to stay home and take care of Bubs while Monkey and I had a little one-on-one time. This RARELY happens anymore, so I snatched up the opportunity. We went to IKEA to make an exchange. Surprisingly enough, Monkey didn't want to play in SmaLand. He loves that place! But today he said he wanted to go shopping with Momma. I wasn't going to fight him. :-) After that, dinner at Spring Creek BBQ, the playland at a local mall, a package of Silly Bandz, and a carousel ride. We had a WONDERFUL time!

On the way and after we got home, we had a couple cute conversations:

MM: Monkey, Momma is really tired! (big yawn)
JK: I know. You had a really big time!
MM: (laughing) Yes, I did, I had a big time!
JK: Good! Because I had a big time too.

LOL!

Later...

In bed reading a bed time story about Mr. and Mrs. Pig that got married on a cruise, but a thief stole Mrs. Pig's pearls and ruined the party. We're on the last page of the book and there is a sad looking little bug character watching the thieves get carted off to jail.

JK: He's sad.
Dad: Yes, he is sad. Why is he sad?

Thinking we're going to get an answer about it being sad watching the bad folks going away...

JK: He's sad because he didn't get any cake.

Hahaha!

Aww man...this kid. I love his observations and sweetness. He reminds me everyday how blessed I am to have him and his sweet baby brother and Daddy. Life is good.

Playing At The Beach

2010-07-26T14:00:00.013-05:00

A few days were spent at the beach as a family last week. One of the things that I told N that we HAD to do while we were down there was to take a few informal snaps of the boys down at the water. So we dragged the kiddos and N's obliging parents down there with us. Things didn't go quite as planned, but we did manage to eek out a few good shots. I learned a few things of what NOT to do, so next time it'll be better. Considering it's been several years since I've done any halfway formal shoot, I'm pleased with the fact that I got anything at all.

These are completely raw images, untouched, uncropped. Sorry! But I know if I wait till that's done, it'll be four months from now before it happens.

Family members: If you really want one of these, email me and let me know. I'll get you a tweaked high resolution to get printed out.

Look Who Turned ONE!

2010-07-23T10:22:00.015-05:00

Still cannot get over how fast this year has gone by! I can honestly say I've been good about slowing down and enjoying each phase he's been through. In spite of some very deep sleep deprivation with this child, I have truly enjoyed every thing about him. He's a happy, sweet, opinionated, and funny little boy that has brought much joy to our lives. I thank the Lord everyday for honoring us with another son. I am overwhelmingly blessed through my husband and children.

Some notables about our sweet little one year old! (Pardon me for the details. This is really more for me to look back upon than to entertain dear readers. I'm sorry if this is verbose. You can skip to the party pictures at the end if you like.)

He LOVES to eat! Grapes, cereal, pretzels, applesauce, bananas, crackers, chicken, ham, french fries, cheese, pasta, even tuna sandwiches. There isn't much that this boy will turn down, unless he just can't chew it. Even then he'll just gum it to death. He only has 4 teeth so far, so he's doing what he can with what he has. He's been known to hoard food in his cheeks and still have it there 20 - 30 minutes after he's down from a meal. He's also been known to shuffle on his hands and knees under the high chair after a meal to scavenge when Momma isn't quick enough to clean up. Who needs a puppy with a Mr. Hoover. :-)

He's also still nursing a couple times a day and even though Momma's almost ready to wean, Bubs seems to have NO interest in giving it up. Since he hasn't attached himself to a blanket, lovey or pacifier, the process of weaning is a little dicey right now. It makes him very grumpy, so we're taking it slow.

We're FINALLY sleeping through the night. This is such a blessing! Up until 10 months, Bubs was waking up every two hours, sometimes more often, to nurse. I was a zombie! But now bedtime is generally around 7:30 and wake up time is around 6. While we'd love it if he slept a little later, I'm just grateful he's sleeping through at all!

He loves, loves, loves, Big Brother! Monkey is the sun, moon, stars to this little guy. There really aren't many people that can elicit a bigger smile than Big Brother. Maybe De-dah. But Bubs thinks his older brother is the best thing ever. Big Brother isn't always thrilled or gentle with his little shadow, but that doesn't seem to deter the little guy. He's a strong-willed character in his own right, so whatever Monkey is dishing out, he's holding his own pretty well. It also helps when you're almost as big as your big brother. Currently, there is only about a 5 lb difference and they're already in the same size clothes.

He's a Momma's boy. I think some of this is because he's still being nursed. If he's not shadowing Monkey, then he's busy pulling on my leg attempting to crawl into my arms. As a busy Momma, I was/am forced to wear Bubby in a sling while I attempted to take care of the house and Monkey. He LOVES to be worn. Still, to this day! But he's nearing 25 lbs and that's a lot to carry in a sling, while cooking, potty training, cleaning, and playing basketball with a toddler.

He's walking! He's actually been walking for about 2 months now. I was bracing myself for him to not walk for awhile, since he's such a big kiddo. But along with his size, comes strength. He's still a little wobbly when he's tired, but every day I'm noticing more stability and speed. I guess that's needed when you have an almost 3 year old brother to keep up with! And while my back is aching from carrying him in the sling so much, it's bittersweet to watch him chase JK around the island in the kitchen. The laughter and screaming make it worth it.

He's started talking! Strangely enough, his first word was a bark. LOL! He LOVES dogs or any animal for that matter. But he will LEAP out of our arms if he spies a dog. And I know it's a dog when he starts making this deep gutteral woof, like our Boxer. He also says "uh-oh" and "doddie", which can mean Daddy or doggy, depending on what direction he's pointing. He says
"Momma", but it's usually in a sing-songy way and he doesn't seem to associate it with me yet. He calls me Doddie. Since he adores Daddy and dogs, I guess I will take it as a compliment. While he doesn't have an arsenal of words yet, he has a slew of different little squeals that he uses to communicate. We almost always know when he's in the room and what he wants.

He loves to dance! It can be a song in a commercial, a song from a Laurie Berkner video, or even a cell phone ringing. No matter, it will stop Bubby in his tracks and he immediately starts this slow squatting bob. While he comes from strong musical genes on both sides of the family, his immediate reaction to music is always a surprise to me. Adorable to watch!

He loves all things having to do with balls, cars, trucks, and trains. There have already been quite a few fights in the W household over who was playing with what ball or car. Still not sure how we're going to enforce this whole "share" concept, but we're working on it. I've also been intrigued by the fact that Bubs already understands that vehicles make noise. He always makes this little "running engine" sound when he rolls his Hot Wheels around the house. Perhaps I am under-estimating how much of an influence JK has on him.

About to sing and partake in the caterpillar birthday cupcakes with big brother and cousins.

Licking off icing from the candle...

I think I got the hang of this cake thing...

But I don't really like being messy...

Duuude...

Kickin' it up with an after cake cocktail. Life is good!

Yes it is. Especially with you in it little man. We love you so much! Thank you for blessing us the way you do. We are so grateful to have you in our lives, our family, and in our home. Your chub and sweetness has charmed us all!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Unmet Expectations

2010-07-09T12:50:00.002-05:00

This morning, as I was taking JK out of his car seat to take him into daycare, we had the strangest and sweetest conversation:

JK: Momma, I no want to go to school.
MM: You don’t?
JK: No. I no want to.
MM: I know babe, Mommy doesn’t want to go to work either.

He looked at me with a surprised expression.

JK: You no want to go to work?
MM: No. Sometimes I am sad at work. I miss you. I’m sad because I want to be home with you.
JK: Work make you sad?
MM: Yes, sometimes work makes me sad.

After thinking a moment…

JK: Daddy’s work make him sad too?
MM: No, Daddy’s work is a happy work.
JK: My school make me sad.
MM: It does? Why does it make you sad?
JK: Sometimes I want to watch Yetter Factordy at home.

Hahaha! And here I was thinking he was gearing up to tell me that he missed me too. Ahh well. A momma can dream right?

One of THOSE Days

2010-05-25T09:40:00.005-05:00

So today N wakes up and is sick. Sinus stuff, feels like a cold is coming on. Praying the rest of us can steer clear of it. He decided to stay home today. But since he was parked behind me in the driveway, I just took his truck. I don’t like driving it. It’s too big. Or I'm too small. My feet seriously can't touch the floor and that's with the seat moved down to the best position possible. I feel like I'm driving a semi. But I didn’t really feel like re-parking on the street, so I just grabbed his keys and took the boys to school. Bubby has a meltdown and won’t go to even his favorite teacher who he lunges for every morning. I leave him behind in tears. Monkey has a meltdown because I only packed regular pancakes and not the chocolate chip pancakes. I forgot the boxes of baby clothes I promised Monkey’s teacher for her new grand-nephew and we’re out of checks, so I have to go to the bank to get a money order to pay for this week’s tuition.

Can I go back home and start this day over?

As I drive into my parking spot at work, I hit the car next to me. It’s just a scratch, but it’s a 2 foot long deep scratch and the lady will probably have to get her whole rear quarter panel replaced. (Probably because the truck is too big and I have a hard time judging how much space I need.) To top it off, we just bought the truck from N’s mother and the insurance isn’t even transferred over to our name yet. So whatever we do, it’ll be cash out of pocket, because I don’t want it to go on her insurance.

I think I want to run away to Australia.

Small Group Girls' Weekend 2010

2010-05-17T07:56:00.002-05:00

The wives from our Small Group at church have been planning a girls' weekend for over a month now. We made arrangements to head out of town to Galveston, sans children, husbands, and chores. Unfortunately, there were a few travel, health, and other obstacles preventing everyone from making it. But those that did, had an AWESOME time!

The beach house was perfect. We each had our own room, we had plenty of food, and we were about a 3 minute walk from the beach. A drive into town was only about 8 minutes, so we also went shopping and toured the city a bit. But we realized about an hour into settling in that it didn't really matter where we were, we could have a great time anywhere just chatting and enjoying our friendships. We didn't have diaper or potty-training duty for four whole days!

So what do you do when you're on a beach vacation and it's pouring rain outside?

You watch movies and chat. And eat. And eat. It's amazing how many conversations you can finish and how many hot meals can be eaten when there aren't any little ones around!

It rained HARD from Thursday night until early Saturday morning. It finally slowed to a drizzle on Saturday morning so we were able to go on some shell hunts and enjoy the surf and sand.

There were a lot of Portuguese Man-O-War that were washed up on shore after the previous night's storm.

Lola and Tito, some local Boxers, entertained us on one of our walks.

I just loved this. Have no idea why, but it spoke to me.

Some of the beach front homes are still hurting to be remembered from Hurricane Ike. This is about two blocks from the W's home.

Every girl's vacation dream: a place you can throw back a beer and get a tattoo while you're waiting for your new car security system to be installed. If it takes too long you can roll away in a scooter.

A gorgeous historic home a few blocks from The Strand.

See the blue step? That's how high the water was with the storm surge from Ike.

The Galveston Fishing Pier on the sea wall is still in need of repair. (Click link to see pictures from before Ike.)

Fabulous Threesome. It's off-centered on purpose. See the view in the background? We can see the waves as we're sitting on the sofa in the living room.

LH's second job: Abercrombie model.

Homeward bound road trip staples: Sonic Happy Hour and a stop at Buc-ee's in Madisonville. (If you haven't heard of Buc-ee's, it's The Ultimate truck stop. Ever.)

The sweetest little Welcome Committee I can imagine! (Bubby hadn't crawled to the front door yet.)

JJ and LH, thank you for being amazing road trip buddies! I had a FABULOUS time and am already looking forward to next year's trip.

Early Mother's Day

2010-05-10T16:16:00.006-05:00

This past Saturday we had a garage sale. We're finally following some of Dave Ramsey's advice and purging/selling stuff we don't use. We didn't make as much as we hoped, but we did get rid of a lot of JUNK!

Afterward, we needed to get Monkey a new pair of shoes. But nature called in the form of four growling bellies, so we stopped at a local gluten-free taco joint first. I was exhausted and (unbeknownst at the time), dehydrated and sunburned, so the seat on the patio was a welcome one. The sun was setting, the breeze was blowing, and the boys were in spectacular moods. Maybe it was the margarita, but I had one of those slow motion moments that life throws you every now and then. I had a very deep awareness in the warm sunlight and raucous boyish giggles that I was immensely blessed and that despite any struggles we're facing, that God is Good.

So we don't have the money we want, nor do I have the secular job that feeds my spirit, nor do I drive the sexiest car or have the perfect pre-pregnancy body filling out the latest trendy clothes. But I have a dedicated husband and two beautiful boys that make me laugh and fill my need to be needed. N and I have struggled with a few things lately and have had to work hard to just live Life. But at that very moment in that little patio, I had a very keen sense that my Heavenly Father was right there with us...loving us, supporting us, laughing with us, and providing for us.

Even though it wasn't officially Mother's Day, it didn't matter. God was celebrating with me and the little family He's provided me. It was beautiful.

Earth Hour is Tomorrow Night!

2010-03-26T13:21:00.000-05:00

Join me in conserving and celebrating!

Tomorrow, Saturday, March 27th, at 8:30 pm, it's Earth Hour. Set your timer! Turn off the lights, laptop, and television. If you have kiddos, tuck them in tightly to bed and snuggle with your honey by candlelight. Once they're down, pour a glass of vino, read poetry aloud, or trade foot rubs with your beloved. If that's not your flavor of romance, play a board game by candlelight or go for a walk and enjoy dusk! Or if you're flying solo (or choosing to fly solo!), draw a hot bath, light a candle and enjoy your latest fictional novel up to your neck in bubbles. No matter what you do, do it with the lights out and as many energy-draining appliances in their OFF position. It's only one hour...you can do it!

By working together for one hour, we can make a difference in this world's energy usage, and make a difference for what we leave our children by example and by lifestyle.

Go here for more information.

Share please...what are you going to do with your Earth Hour? (Please keep it G-rated!)

The Twisted Toddler Conversations

2010-03-09T10:27:00.003-06:00

I've documented many of the adorable conversations we have with Monkey. It's hard not to be tickled by his musings and observations. He has such a fresh and funny perspective! But they aren't all cute, quippy little conversations. I think the latest mix of half-year development (which I hear is harder than year marks), winter cabin fever, family sicknesses and just plain ol' boredom, has made some of the conversations with Monkey a bit of...um...an exercise in Mommy's patience.

Either that, or he's a very fickle 14 year old girl in a 2 year old boy body. I haven't figured this one out yet.

Just so you don't think our lives with a toddler are all peaches and cream, here is a sampling of the "other" conversations that ensue in our household.

But before you read on, please at least consider the advice I try to take: Never judge a family by their two year old. Amen!

*****

MM: JK, do you want milk or apple juice?
JK: Apple juice.
MM: (starts pouring apple juice)
JK: (screeching as if his life is in danger) NOOOOO!!!! I want milk!

*****

JK: (yelling) Bubby, no take my toy!!!
MM: JK, use nice words please.
JK: (yelling louder) Bubby, no take my toy PLEASE!!!

*****

MM: JK, do you want a time out?
JK: (nods head vigorously)
MM: (picks up JK and takes him to his room)
JK: (wailing as if he's just lost his dog) No want time out! No want time out!

*****

MM: JK, we're about to leave. Please put on your shoes.
JK: (looks at me, but continues playing with stuffed monkey)
MM: JK, please put on your shoes.
JK: (stares at Mommy)
MM: JK, please put on your shoes.
JK: (walks towards the shoe box, but gets distracted with trying on Daddy's shoes)
MM: (more slowly and deliberately) JK, please put on your shoes.
JK: (ignores me completely, tripping on Daddy's shoes, falling and crying) I fall down!
MM: Okay, JK. Mommy's going bye-bye now. See you later. (walks out the front door)
JK: (great wailing ensues!) Mommy, I don't have my shoes on!

Really?!

*****

We are challenged daily with balancing love and discipline. It's hard. N and I come from very different disciplines in our childhood and we're trying to find a happy medium that works for our boys. With JK, we work hard to praise, praise, praise when he does something good. We do lots of high-fives and verbal encouragements, which generally works very well. But I have noticed that nothing quite stirs this little boy's soul like some good one-on-one quality time. Just a little bit of one-on-one time with him a day and he is truly the most agreeable little boy. We get lots of conversations like this:

MM: JK, let's go potty one more time before bedtime.
JK: Otay! (scampers undistracted to the bathroom)

"Otay!" Right up there with "I love you Momma", it's really one of my favorite words around here.

Thankful Thursday

2010-03-04T10:44:00.009-06:00

Today I am thankful for...

The GORGEOUS weather outside!
The sense of renewal that March always brings
The fact that the weather forecast for this weekend is sunny and in the 60's
My new purple mani/pedi polish
The fact that Bubby is feeling better today
The snuggle time I had with Bubby last night and this morning
Benadryl for my allergic hive reaction I had to another medication

And last, but not least...

TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS!

Yes, I know that sounds funny, but it's true. In my Wednesday Night Bible Study (Breaking Free by Beth Moore), I'm learning three important things that have changed my perspective on life's hardships.

One, too many times we claim tribulations are in our lives, when they are really just irritations. We make mountains out of molehills. For instance, I'm realizing my "tribulation" of not enjoying my job is really not a tribulation at all. It's a source of irritation for sure. But it's not a tribulation. Perspective. Sometimes I just need a little more perspective to understand my life is not as bad as my emotions make it out to be.

Two, in our teeny tiny earthly lifespan (in comparison to eternity!), these trials (or tribulations), are but a blip on the radar. I remember in college, looking back at my teenage years and scoffing at some of the things that were "gonna kill me". Ha! Man...I had it so easy and had no clue. Even today, I look back at my college years and my late 20's and think the same thing. In reality, Life was so simple then, but because of my limited perspective, I had no clue. I think in 10 years, I'll be thinking the same of my life today. But in Heaven? Once I'm up there and realize what hardships I had to go through to get THERE, all of this will seem like child's play. None of it will matter, but it will have been totally worth it.

Three, overcoming the tribulations in my life makes me beautiful in God's eyes. The note I wrote that Beth said in the video, "Being healed is more beautiful than being well." I love that! I realize this might be a lame analogy, but I kept thinking of my great-grandmother's antiques in her home. I could purchase a reproduction of the beautiful mission chair that I always remember her sitting in. It would be new and polished and without any scratches or marks. But it will never be as beautiful as THE antique mission chair that she always sits in. It is the worn scratches, the softness of the cotton cushion, the patina-ed wooden edges, the history of what that chair's been through that makes it so beautiful! That's how God looks as me as I weather storms with Him. I might be beaten, bruised, exhausted and worn. But I've survived some pretty heady trials (and tribulations!) with Him. And here's a thought...the more trials I experience in His name, the more beautiful I become! I know. What a way to look at some of Life's hardships.

With every low blow that Satan throws at me to spin me off my axle, I'm getting more beautiful and precious in Christ's eyes. What a comforting way to view my coming years! I'm basically going through beauty treatments for my wedding day with my Bridegroom. :-D

Thankful Thursday

2010-02-25T09:52:00.004-06:00

Today I am thankful for:

Good, hot, strong coffee from Sprouts bulk bins. Kenyan. Yummy!
Gluten/Dairy/Soy-free coconut milk creamer
Organic honey-crisp apples
My Blackberry didn't buzz me once last night
My coworker that understands it's best to wait until post-coffee-time to come say hi
Spring is around the corner
A yard to dig into in a few weeks
Anticipation of warmer weather
My silly toddler that is so verbal and makes me laugh every day
My silly 7 month old that loves to snuggle and "kiss" (slobber/chew on my chin)

And last, but definitely not least...

My sweet husband.

Today is his birthday and even though I celebrate him through the year, today is HIS day. He is my best friend, my north star, my sweet sensitive voice of reason, and the only one in this world that loves me so deeply with all my quirks, sins, and off-days.

I have no doubt that when he was born on this earth...

...the angels rejoiced in Heaven that another boy babe was going to grow into an amazing Godly man and change so very many lives for the better.

Thank you Love for being you...

...for being Daddy and husband and friend and all things wonderful in the W house. Thank you for toughing it out with us on this side of Heaven. You are so loved and appreciated and our lives just would not work without you in it.

Thankful Thursday

2010-02-18T16:31:00.003-06:00

Today, I am thankful for...

The warm sun
My silky soft scarf my FIL got in Italy
A job, I might not enjoy, but it puts food in my babies bellies
Health insurance
A short commute
Two beautiful boys that make me feel needed and loved
An amazing husband that calls just to check on me when I'm not well
The opportunity to pray for friends that are hurting

And last but not least...

Hope

There have been many, many times in my life that I've been in so much pain or in such dire straights, that I've lost hope. It's an awful place to be. You're usually by yourself. Or at least it feels that way. Even when you're surrounded by people, you feel alone. It's dark, it's cold, it's eerily silent. Even God is silent during those times. (Sometimes with reason, but that's a whole 'nother post.)

But today, I am not there. On most days, Hope is my constant companion. I can't really attribute it to anything other than Christ. He is my Hope. He has given me Hope. So I guess with those two sentences, one can conclude that He's given me Himself. Which is a true statement.

The Hope I speak of, is not the kind of hope as in, "I hope I get a pony for my birthday!"

"I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense..."

(Sorry...a little humor for you fellow Seinfeld fans.)

While I have hope like that in certain details of my life, an uncertain wish, if you will, the Hope that has become my companion is a deeper, more intense, solidified Hope.

Romans 5:1

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we [1] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith [2] into this grace in which we stand, and we [3] rejoice [4] in hope of the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

What's really interesting is the original Greek word for "hope" as it's used in Roman 5:4 is elpis, which means, "a confident expectation; to anticipate with pleasure". I kind of equate it to the hope a bride feels when she is engaged to be married. Is she hoping the wedding takes place? Is she hoping the groom really shows up? No. She knows. The reason the bride has this type of hope is because she has had a relationship with a man that has proven himself worthy of her trust, so she believes that he is going to show up and the wedding will take place and all will be wonderful.

If she's not sure of either of those things, then there are other issues at hand other than using the wrong term for hope.

So the hope described here is not the same hope that we usually use in the American English language we're familiar with.

So what is this Hope I speak of? I have a pleasurable, confident expectation that there is something better. There IS something better! Ultimately, my Hope is someday spending eternity with Christ and my loved ones in a much better world than the one I live in. But that Hope even bleeds down here to life on earth. I have Hope that God will provide for my needs. That He will not leave me, ignore me, play favorites of others over me. He wants the best for me and wants to give me my heart's desire. Could that be a pony? Perhaps. But not likely. What He does want to give me is a life filled with Goodness and Peace. Like any other parent, He will do whatever is possible to give me the tools to do what I'm meant to do...love others. Whether that be by encouraging words, a kind act, a sharing of experience, a hug...or sharing Him. He will always, always, always give me the opportunities to do this AND to give me the tools to do it.

What a wonderful piece of knowledge to live out in my daily life! I have what I need, when I need it, always according to His time and will. How can I ever go wrong in that?

Weeknights

2010-02-09T21:38:00.010-06:00

In the chaos of the week, each day there is a little sliver of time that I call heaven: when Daddy comes home. Usually the boys and I are still in the midst of dinner, but Daddy jumps in and the the good stuff begins!

Playing...

Bathtime is a lot of fun...

...for some of us.

After baths the exercise routine begins. A.K.A "one little monkey jumpin' on the bed."

...although Bubby tries very hard to make it two little monkeys...

But being the little brother is kinda hard sometimes...

"I'm outta here!"

Fishers of...

2010-02-08T09:46:00.000-06:00

Dinner time is usually the time we get a funny conversation or two with Monkey. Last night was no exception. He was talking about what he wanted to do after dinner.

I need to preface this with the fact that we have two outdoor dogs. Just keep that in mind...

JK: Go fishing!
MM: You want to go fishing? But it's raining today. Where are you going to go fishing?
JK: Fishing outside. (pointing to the backyard)
MM: Fishing in the backyard? But there's no water to go fishing in. It's just grass.
JK: (mulling over what I said)
MM: You want to go fishing in the grass? What are you gonna catch?
JK: Dunno.
MM: Are you gonna catch frogs?
JK: No! (giggling)
MM: Are you gonna catch snakes?
JK: No! (giggling more)
MM: What are you gonna catch?
JK: (thinking...) Poop!

Hmm. Yep. That's about right.

Thankful Thursday

2010-02-04T15:28:00.003-06:00

Ten things I'm thankful for today (in no particular order):

Central heating
Umbrellas
Covered parking at work
The fact that I'm gainfully employed
My baby's fever went away last night
My husband that adores our boys
Cinnamon Chex (Thank you for the recommendation Fords!)
The crockpot that's at home cooking my dinner
Organic honey crisp apples from Whole Foods

And last, but DEFINITELY not least...

My amazing women's Bible Study on Wednesday nights!

I'm working on a lot of things in my life right now, but improving my attitude is one of the top three. Interestingly enough, that can't happen without improving my relationship with the Lord, which is AT THE TOP of my list for 2010.

The study I'm attending on Wednesday nights is Beth Moore's Breaking Free. CANNOT say enough about what I'm learning there. Not just from the class video and the book, but from the amazing women within those four walls. It's an intense study. Homework FIVE nights a week! But I have made the decision that no matter if my homework is done, or my day is bad, I AM going to that study every Wednesday!

The highlight of the study last night that really spoke to me: I MUST get in the Word every single day. If I don't, it's like going for a walk in a Texas desert loaded with rattlesnakes without a shotgun to keep me safe. My ammunition is starting (or ending) my day with quiet time with God.

The side note that I must mention that I LOVED, was the important of reading scripture aloud. Satan hates to hear God's Word read aloud, and in reading it aloud, you can make him completely flee! Wow...what power we have supporting us!

While I am not going to be legalistic or militant, I am going to just make this part of my new routine, like brushing my teeth and taking a shower. I do it randomly, but it's random because I don't plan for it. I haven't been able to figure out how to do this in the mornings, so I'm doing it before bedtime. While not ideal, every night I do it, it's a precious sweet time. I enjoy it! I'm so thankful for the changes that God's making in my heart. And can't wait to see what the changes will bring this year!

Mommy Happy?

2010-02-03T10:39:00.003-06:00

The last month or so, Monkey seems to be very in tune with my emotions. I don't know if he's learning about happy versus sad at school, maybe? But anytime I raise my voice or get frustrated with him, he always asks, "Mommy happy?" He has asked me this almost once a day for awhile now. It's made me realize how often he must see a grumpy or frustrated countenance. I've been working on it, but the stresses of the period of life we're in sometimes gets the best of me.

The other night, he wasn't listening to me when I was trying to dress him. He was too busy dancing around nekkid when I wanted him to get his feet in his pajamas.

MM: (raised, stern voice) JK, Mommy said stay still and put your feet in your 'jamas.
JK: Mommy happy?
MM: No, Mommy is not happy. I am happy when you listen and obey.

He then grabs my head in his hands and plants a big sloppy kiss on my nose.

JK: Mommy happy now?

How on EARTH am I supposed to keep a straight face through that? LOL!

MM: (totally starting to lose it with giggling) Yes, Mommy is happy. Thank you for loving me.

JK: Tank YOU Mommy. (steps into his pajama feet)

This boy. Gracious! I later realized I was trying to quell his silliness, when I should have been dancing with him. I missed it! The opportunity to be joyful with him. The opportunity to make a memory, if not for him, then for me. God was handing me a tiny little wrapped up present...a sweet moment with my firstborn and I was busy worrying about making bedtime.

When am I going to learn?!?!

This adorable, innocent child desperately wants to be independent and yet wants to make sure I approve of him.

He is my SOUL in so many ways!!!

Lord, I am learning, please be patient with me. Please help me to remember to not stifle his sweet, active spirit. Help me to remember that in order for him to have life, I need to give up my own. It is by my example that he will either learn to love or be legalistic. Please help me to not let You down. Help me to not let him down.

Genes Are a Funny Thing...

2010-01-29T16:13:00.002-06:00

My sweet firstborn is quite the little character. He makes me smile and laugh on a daily basis!

He's so silly...I think he gets that from me.

It fascinates me how he sits back and takes things in...he definitely gets that from Daddy.

I absolutely LOVE how expressive he is...from me.

He definitely has a constant sense of adventure...from Daddy.

And his sweet boyish charm just makes my heart swell...I think that's all his own.

The comment we always get when someone very first meets Monkey is, "Oh wow...he looks like his Daddy." Which is true. For anyone that has any doubt, here is a picture of my gorgeous husband...

...and here is a picture of him about the same age Monkey is now. I immediately gasped when I first saw this. OMG, I'm raising my husband!!!

And for any of you that have never met N's mother, he looks a LOT like her. Isn't she beautiful?

He even looked like her when she was little. OMG, I'm raising my mother-in-law!!!

What's really interesting, is that she looked a lot like her daddy when he was little...

...which in turn has proven my husband looks a lot like his grandfather when he grew up...

Aren't genes a funny thing? I'm officially tagging you as a reader. Who do you look like in your family?

This Made My Day!

2010-01-28T22:59:00.000-06:00

For those of you that remember Matt and Ginny Mooney and their sweet boy Eliot...they have some wonderful news over at their blog home:

http://thespectacularvernacular.blogspot.com/

This just reminds me that in the midst of all the crummy stuff in this world, God deposits great joy into our arms just because He loves us.

Congratulations Mooney's!

Dinner Conversation

2010-01-19T22:25:00.003-06:00

Tonight at the dinner table:

JK: (Flapping his arms and hands as I wash off his face with a washcloth) Momma I flying!
MM: You are?! Are you flying like a bird?
JK: Yeah! (more flapping)
MM: Are you flying like a cow?
JK: (giggling) No!
MM: Are you flying like a kitty cat?
JK: (more giggling) No!
MM: Are you flying like a bat?
JK: Yeah!
MM: Are you flying like Bo (our dog)?
JK: (Very seriously) No. Bo no fly. Bo lie down and seep.

*sigh*

I'm so jealous.

The Invisible Woman

2010-01-08T10:42:00.005-06:00

Momma Friends (and family!),

Please watch this. I hope it's encouraged you the way it's encouraged me. SD, thank you so much for passing this on. :-)

MM

More Monkey-ish Conversations

2009-12-17T13:06:00.005-06:00

Pardon me as I record these. Probably not very exciting to anyone else, other than me. But this blog is my journal of the boys, so I record inane conversations now and then. :-)

Our little boy cracks us up on a daily basis. Continually amazing us with how much he understands and verbalizes. It catches us off guard now and then!

*****

This morning, I was in our masterbath cutting my toenails. (TMI, I know, but have to set the story scene here.) My foot was on the toilet lid and Monkey walks in and starts watching me. N knows that I don't like getting ready in the mornings with toddler underfoot, so he comes in to shoo Monkey out.

N: JK, come on, let Mommy get ready. Leave her alone please.
JK: I wanna see what Mommy doing.

Okay...not terribly exciting, but he's never said a sentence this long and coherent before. Cracked us up!

*****

JK's "incentive" for going tee-tee in the potty is a small Reese's PB cup. As he took a bite out of one the other night, he very gently puts it up to my mouth to offer me a nibble. So I gently take a small bite.

MM: Thank you JK!
JK: I share. I a good boy!
MM: (laughing) Yes, you sure are!

I want so badly for him to have a servant's heart, to know the pleasure of giving and sharing. I know having a sibling will help this along, but sometimes the flawed human character mixed with a two year old sensibility doesn't lend itself to this type of behavior. It warms my heart to not just see my son have moments like this, but to partake in them as well.

*****

One morning this week, Monkey was a bit crabby as we all got ready for the day. Just whined a lot, nothing really made him happy. N was loading the car up and Monkey stood at the door waiting for his turn to be loaded. (It was cold out and we made him stay inside until it was time.)

MM: Monkey, have a good day at school today. Come give Momma a bye-bye hug.
JK: No! No hug. (big pout)
MM: No hug? Monkey, that makes me very sad. I like your hugs. (I touch his arm and he turns to me. He lets me pull him into sweet hug.) Thank you. That's much better. I like hugging you. If I don't get your hugs it makes me very sad. (Extra big squeeze.)
JK: (pulling away and stares at me for a long time) Mommy happy?
MM: Yes, Mommy is happy. Thank you.
JK: (toddles out the door) Bye Mommy!

I just love that sweet boy, even in his sassy, pouty moods! It reminds me all the time of those moments in life where we pout with our Heavenly Father about something and He is always tender and gentle with us, drawing us back to Him for more love. I just hope I can take my two year old's perspective and be soft-hearted enough to allow His love to correct me and WANT to please Him. I know more often than not, I do the opposite.

And I pray all the time that I can look at our sons the same way He looks at me. With that same tenderness and patience.

*****

There are so many funny things our little man says on a daily basis. I tell myself all the time, "Oh...that's a good one. I need to remember that for the blog." But my memory is like a sieve right now and I can barely remember to get myself into shoes before leaving the house anymore. Everyone said you get "pregnant brain" when you're expecting, but nobody said it wouldn't go away! I blame the sleep-deprivation.

Shopping with Momma

2009-12-11T23:36:00.001-06:00

This month has been a tough month at the W household. Lots of germs around here. N's been sick, then Bubby got sick, now Monkey is sick and Bubby is sick again. Praise God I have not been sick. *knock on wood* But I'm not sure if this means I'm going to survive unscathed or if I'm next.

So Bubby and I went to a new doctor today who talked with us about some homeopathic remedies to help with his recurring ear infections. After we left we went straight to Sprouts to go shopping. It was Bubby's first trip in a shopping cart. He still can't sit up by himself yet, so the buckle helped keep him vertical. Even with an ear infection and a cold, he's still smiling and one of the cutest boys I've ever met! :-)

That crooked little smile and chubby cheeks just make me melt. I want to snorgle on him all the time.

Prayers for a healthy household would be very appreciated!

Male Bonding

2009-11-28T23:11:00.005-06:00

What the appeal is with monster trucks, I have no idea. But I'm a girl. Daddy has always loved it and it seems the tradition is being passed down to the next generation...

Thanksgiving Play Date!

2009-11-27T21:47:00.000-06:00

This past week we've had some gorgeous Thanksgiving weather. So another mommy friend and I decided to get our boys outside to run off some energy before the holiday got started.

Things started off in the sandbox...

Then moved to the slides...

Then there was a little hangin' around the monkey bars...

And swingin' on the swings...

Watchin' the biggun's jumping to the next section of the castle...

And deciding to jump around and dance instead...

Peace out!

What I'm Thankful for Today: Ms. Kamlah

2009-11-25T09:50:00.004-06:00

Some of you have heard me talk about one of the baby teachers at the boys' school, Ms. Kamlah. I so wish you could meet this amazing woman in person. I can't sing her praises enough!

Back when Monkey first started going to school, as a new mom, I had a hard time with going back to work. I had to have N do the drops in the mornings, as it was just too emotional for me. I get to do the pickups after work. After one particularly tough day at the office, I arrived at Monkey's school in tears. Tears of frustration, but so happy to see my little boy. I will never forget Ms. Kamlah cheering me that evening. When I told her I was having such a hard time with working, she said something very profound that made me considering working motherhood in a new light.

(Ms. Kamlah is from Trinidad, so imagine her saying this in a thick West Indies accent.)

"Your son is a special boy, Momma. He is so little, but he has a God-given job to bless those people around him. He's too little to do anything else. If you were with him at home, he would not be able to have such a wide audience of people to do that with. By working, you are allowing God to use your child for His glory."

It was one of those moments that I felt like God was speaking to me directly.

Even though it was still hard, I started going to work with a renewed sense of purpose. If not for myself, then for my child.

Two weeks ago, Ms. Kamlah announced her retirement. She has worked at this school for 13 years, all in the infant room. She has told me many times that when she lies down every night, she imagines all the name-tagged cribs in the room and prays for each child individually. The idea that my two boys have had somebody, besides Mommy and Daddy, pray over them DAILY, is such a huge blessing to our family.

Today is Ms. Kamlah's last day at our boys' school. While we are so grateful for the time she's been called to care and love on our boys, we are very sad our time with her is over. But after all her years for caring for so many children, it's time for her to relax and enjoy herself.

Ms. Kamlah will never know exactly how much of a blessing she has been to our family. But we pray that God watch, keep her, and bless her. We will miss her very much!

A VERY Fast Four Months!

2009-11-18T22:19:00.012-06:00

Last Friday, our little Bubby turned 4 months old. I'm stunned on a daily basis how quickly time has flown since his arrival. But life is sure sweeter with this little boy's presence!

Today we went for our checkup and got the following stats:

17.1 lbs - 90th %
25" tall - 60th %
17" head - 75th %

You're a big boy! You've been in 6 month clothes for awhile and recently we've started pulling out the 9 month clothes. While you're a big boy, you are still our little baby cakes!

Poor little monkey got two shots in his legs...

But after nursing and then taking a little nap, he was just happy as he always is...

I think his poor red gums hurt worse than his legs. This is about all we see nowadays...his little fists in his mouth. Poor kiddo's fingers are constantly pruned from being chewed on...

Little boy, you are such a joy to us! We could not have been more shocked when we got those two pink lines and we had NO idea how we were about to be blessed. God was so good to us with allowing us to have another sweet boy. We are so thrilled to have such a wonderful unexpected gift! Here are some things to note about you this month:

You are such a mellow baby! There isn't much that phases you. You rarely cry. It sounds strange, but you really don't cry much. You have a throaty little fuss, but that's about it. When you cry, there is usually something really wrong. (Like today when you got your shots.) Or Momma has taken too long to attend to your needs. (Not often.) We think you're going to have your Daddy's chill personality, which is just fine with us.

You are growing so strong! You will sit in your Johnny Jumper and jump away until you literally fall asleep in it. We love seeing you grow like this, as we know someday you'll need the strength to keep up with Big Brother!

You LOVE your Big Brother! Although you're still a little small to attract his attention, you just constantly stare and watch every little move he makes. We can tell that you are already looking up to him. Or at the very least, entertained by his loud antics.

You are more of a Momma's Boy than Big Brother. While I love this, I know it's only because you're nursing and your BB didn't. We're making it a point for you to spend some one on one time with your Daddy. One of these days you'll understand what an awesome guy he is.

Bubby, we so look forward to getting to know you more. You will never know how blessed you make us feel. We honestly cannot remember what life was like before your arrival, but it doesn't matter. We love you so much and I hope that our actions prove that to you!

XOXOXOXO,
Momma and Daddy

Fall Has Fallen

2009-11-07T13:15:00.012-06:00

Saturdays are my favorite day of the week. The smell of N's famous French toast and hot coffee. The sounds of lawns being mowed in the neighborhood and clothes being fluffed in the dryer. And it's beautiful outside today! Blue skies, light breeze, cool temperature. Ahhh...fall in Texas is really my favorite time of year!

Monkey LOVES to be outside, so this morning we hung out together while I cleaned a little bit of the garage out. I realized about an hour into it, that it'd be much more fun to play in the fall leaves. So I got our rake and initiated Monkey in this fabulous autumn tradition. We didn't have enough leaves in our yard, so I "borrowed" some from our neighbor.

Hoping our neighbor won't be too upset at me raking up their front yard? Some of you know our neighbor. He's a bit...um..."particular"? So yes, there is a chance it's not going to make him happy. Me? If you wanna rake our yard, rake away! I'll even pay you.

I had him get his step stool out so he could get a little more air...

The Nestea plunge. Some of you are probably too young to remember that.

This Little Light of Mine...

2009-11-03T09:27:00.004-06:00

Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16

Many years ago, during the midst of an ugly divorce, God placed in my path an amazing new friend. Sweet Hopkins. Sweet was the children's minister at the church I was attending at the time. If there is one word I would use to describe her, it would be dynamic. She was a tiny thing. I had about two inches on her, if that gives you any idea. But she had the spirit and tenacity of a giant. When I hear the phrase, "Great things come in small packages," I think of Sweet.

The first time I met Sweet, she wore an obnoxiously bright red and pink flowered scarf around her head. What I didn't know at that time was that she had just finished her final round of chemo. Which came in a full package deal that included radiation, a full mastectomy, and a stem cell transplant. Her skin was grey with dark circles under her eyebrowless eyes. She walked determinedly, but slow. Her energy obviously low. In spite of her delicate and sickly frame, one could not miss the attitude and spunk with which she lived her life. Cancer might slow her down, but it wasn't going to KNOCK her down.

The second time I met Sweet, was at a camp counselors meeting about a year later. She had emailed and asked me to join her team of volunteers to take upwards of 100 elementary students to Camp Lebanon for a week long Children's Summer camp. She said she'd make it easy on me and let me go with the "little girls", the 3rd graders, most of which had never been away from their parents for a whole week themselves. I was petrified! My divorce had just finalized a few week's earlier. I had been struggling with how not only would I never have children in my barren state, but now I wasn't even married anymore. And now I was being asked to join a bunch of little girls for summer camp? While a part of me screamed in emotional pain at the thought being around kids for that long, a part of me felt a very deep need to please Sweet. Why I don't know, but I ignored my internal whining and said yes.

What transpired in that week of Children's Camp was a change in my heart. The girls were darling. They did much to heal my broken spirit with their sweetness and silliness. Not only did God heal my heart through those precious little girls, but through my new friend Sweet. Sweet was not one of those coddling, mothering types of women. She was tough. She would give hugs freely and lovingly and not one child or counselor ever felt anything but pure love from this woman. But we all also knew not to pull anything on her. She was sharp and wouldn't put up with any shenanigans from student or counselor. Her advice to all of us while we were there: Don't do anything stupid! We were all very intent on following her advice if it killed us! Nobody wanted to disappoint Sweet. I also finally had the gift to hear her amazing story of beating breast cancer, firsthand. At that time she was in full remission. I just remember thinking that if Sweet could battle for her life with the fortitude she demonstrated, then I could fight what few battles I had in my life. The question was, could I do it with the grace that Sweet did?

Several years go by and cancer again attacked Sweet's body. This time a little more extensively and with a lot more force. But in typical Sweet fashion, it was fought against and she won. Again.

A few more years go by, her kids are grown and in college. Her life still revolves around the children's ministry at church. The cancer returns. Almost with an angry vengeance. It was in her liver and her bones. With time, it's obvious that the aggression of the cancer was not going to be beat. The family decides to let hospice take care of Sweet in her last days.

A year ago today, Sweet Hopkins finally went home. While the rest of us mourned our loss on earth, the Heavens danced with her arrival. With that mental picture, I cannot help but smile. I remember watching her sing and dance at the camp talent shows with all of the kids...

"This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine.
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."

Looking back, I think that was what was so attractive about Sweet. As corny as it sounds, she couldn't help but let her light shine. It was bigger than her. It wasn't meant to be contained by her tiny little body. Honestly, it's not meant to be contained in any of our bodies, no matter how big or strong. So again, I'm forced to ask myself, can I do this like Sweet?

Fall Festival 2009

2009-11-02T13:44:00.000-06:00

A little behind on some pictures, so this will be backdated once everyone's seen it...

Momma was sick this year, so we missed our church's Fall Festival. But we made it to Gramma and De-Dah's Trunk or Treat. For those that don't know, a Trunk or Treat is where church members volunteer to decorate their car trunk in a theme, dress up as coordinating characters and pass out loads of sugar to over-stimulated, sweaty kids that haven't had dinner.

Monkey dressed up as a frog, in a costume that Mimi brought from Japan. Although, I'm not entirely convinced that this was a costume. Have you seen the way Japanese kids dress? I think this would be a typical outfit for chilly weather. Monkey just wasn't going for the frog hat though.

Bypassing the candy for the balls in the display. Taking him away from this Trunk was not a pretty scene.

A little creeped out by the talking mechanical cat.

We discovered that Bubba makes a really terrible Angry Banana. He's entirely too mellow.

Our favorite Auntie E and her little lion.

Our friends and neighbors, The M family. DD #1 dressed as a groomless bride (the best kind according to her father), DD#2 dressed as Jackie O (precious!), Mom dressed as a hunter. Dad...well...he looks like dinner.

Enjoying the concert and his hard earned goods...

Doing the hoky poky. Okay, maybe not.

We had an awesome dinner at Burger Island and then home for baths and cuddle time. Fun, fun night!

Our First Family Camping Trip

2009-11-01T21:16:00.027-06:00

So a few Fridays ago, N and I decided to take a VERY spontaneous camping trip with the boys. Spontaneous as in we decided to go around 5:15pm and had the truck packed by 6:15pm. Dinner on the road, picked up some groceries on the way, and we were headed into a weekend adventure with our two monkeys. The boys fell asleep on the way, which was fine. We let them sleep in the heated truck while we set up camp. By the time we got the basic gear set up for the night and pulled the boys into the tent, it was close to midnight.

The funny thing about the night: I had forgotten that cats in heat sound very similar to crying babies. And crying babies sound like cats in heat. I learned quickly that night that when Bubba cried to eat, I had to get him taken care of pronto! Several times that night we had feral cats just outside of our tent howling in unison with our little baby! LOL! It was a little creepy, but it was funny.

First thing in the morning, Monkey is chillin' (literally) while Daddy builds a fire...

Mr. Bubba, as usual, just happy to be here...

We discovered the first morning that some point after we went to sleep, we had some visitors that tried to steal our food. Evidenced by the paw prints that we found all over our site...

When they realized our food was packed up pretty tightly, they decided to nibble on some other things...yum.

We spent the weekend taking walks...

Feeding the local geese...

Had geology lessons with the rocks found on the walks...

Tackled Daddy for a little wrestling...

"Cooked" up some snacks by the fire...

We were having so much fun, that naptime took a little extra effort to get implemented...

But when it finally happened, it happened hard...

The second day we had some more fun. We chilled out at the campfire...

Sang songs. Mostly "ABC's" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider"...

Played games. Mostly "peach-a-boo"...

Helped Daddy gather some fire wood...

Played at the campsite playground and learned to "pump and swing"...

Snuggled with babies to keep warm...

"Oh no! Table fall down!" (The water levels were up because of all the rain.)

Skipped rocks in the lake...

Camping has always been the way N and I reconnect and find a new sense of peace in ourselves and each other. While we didn't really have any "down" time to experience the peace, all in all, it was a really wonderful trip! Looking back, I think the only reason I agreed to such a spontaneous event with two little ones, was because I'd had a glass of wine when N asked me. Ha! But watching Monkey run off a ton of steam outdoors and experience one of our favorite things to do, made it all worthwhile. We're already looking forward to doing it again in the spring!

Amazing Adoption Story

2009-10-29T22:14:00.004-05:00

Some of you know that adoption has always been very close to our hearts. Even though we know we are done having biological children, we are not entirely sure our family is done growing. Whether or not it is God's plan for our family to pick up the adoption process again, remains to be seen. But I still cannot get over how my heart is pricked every time I hear or read about a family and child adopting each other.

I saw this story on an adoption blog tonight. It's 25 minutes long, so it's a bit of a time investment, but it's a stunning story. I'm not sure anyone could watch this without being touched by its beauty. I connect with this young lady on many levels, but watching her grow up with so much love surrounding her is such a testament to how God's plan is always an amazing one.

The Arboretum

2009-10-24T21:36:00.000-05:00

We've had some sporadic, yet amazingly beautiful days inbetween all the torrential rain this autumn. Fortunately for us, some of them have been on the weekends. So we took advantage of one of them and had some quality time with the family at The Dallas Arboretum.

The pumpkin and gourd displays were stunning! While these make N think of pumpkin carving, it makes me think of pumpkin pie! Yum!

We rarely get Saturday mornings with Gramma since she's so busy with her dog therapy group those days. So this day was especially sweet since we got to spend so much time with her...

Going to the Arboretum isn't always that exciting for little boys. Who wants to look at a bunch of flowers in a park? But little did Monkey know...there were plenty of things for a little boy to do!

Running down big hills with De-dah...

Splashing in fountains...

Riding spitting frogs...

Bobbing for pumpkins...

Climbing pumpkin mountains...

Catching some air....

Roll around in the grass like a puppy enjoying the sun...

Letting Momma win a time or two at wrestling...

Eventually relinquishing some sugar to her as a prize...

Has anyone besides me, noticed that all these shots of Monkey are of him on the run? He sat still for about 5 minutes to eat a lunch of yogurt and chicken, but that was about it. THE.BOY.NEVER.RESTS. He gets that from his De-dah. If you know De-dah, you know what I mean.

Also, if you're wondering why there aren't any pictures of Bubba, it's because he slept pretty much the entire time. He finally woke up in time for a little snuggle with Gramma in the sun...

It really was one of the most enjoyable family days we've had in a long time. The weather was perfect, beautiful sailboats sailing on White Rock Lake, everyone was healthy, and the tickets were free from my work. Towards the end of the visit, we found a little area where there was a jazz trio playing some music, so we decided to sit and relax. At least I did. Everyone else decided to play around on the stage steps. But even so, from my vantage point, it was the perfect way to end the day.

That is, until a cute little Monkey discovers me enjoying the silence a little too much and decides to tackle me.

So much for my silent moment alone...

A Road Trip to Memphis

2009-10-15T13:22:00.003-05:00

Some of you are familiar with “Big Mama”, the blogger from San Antonio. She blogged the other day about listening to Beth Moore speak at a conference and this portion of it just really touched me:

http://thebigmamablog.com/4129/who-knew-memphis-was-a-metaphor/

My heart was already full by the time Beth got up to speak so it should come as no surprise that I had tears in my eyes about three minutes into her lesson. She shared that she’d barely made it to Memphis because of the weather. But she knew that if God wanted her to make it to Memphis, then she was going to make it to Memphis no matter what the airlines said or whatever else happened. If she was supposed to be in Memphis, then she’d end up in Memphis. (This is all a paraphrase, but it’s the general point)

And I just felt God saying to my heart that I don’t have to worry about how I’m getting to Memphis or what Memphis will look like, I just need to trust that He’ll get me to Memphis if that’s where I’m supposed to be.

I hope it’s obvious that this epiphany wasn’t actually about getting to Memphis since I was actually already in Memphis when it happened. It was just a sweet reminder that God is the architect of the details and He doesn’t need me to control all these things that I tend to fret about because I am a fretter (not a real word) and He certainly doesn’t expect me to get to Memphis without Him.

Anyway, the Memphis part of that in my life represents several different things that I’ve been struggling with or trying to understand. I don’t know what the Memphis is in your life, but I know that if God wants you in Memphis then He’ll get you to Memphis.

I’m struggling with my own little journey to Memphis right now. I’m fretting about some personal details in my life. I’m trying to orchestrate those details that are really not meant to be orchestrated by a human. While it’s scary to let go of that control, when I actually buckle down and DO IT, there is a strange peace in it. I don’t have to worry about the details, because they are already ordained to happen at just the right time. So why attempt to take control of reins that are not mean to be in my hands?

Some of you might be thinking, “Duh, yeah, let go, let God. Obvious, Monkey Momma!” Unfortunately, it’s not obvious when I’m in the forest. And this really spoke to me today. So for the moment, until my sinful side takes over again, I’m just going to enjoy the trip to Memphis.

More Words From the Monkey...

2009-10-13T13:14:00.004-05:00

After dinner last night, JK was sitting in his high chair, preparing to get down. I was holding Bubba and attempting to wipe down JK's smudgy hands with a washcloth.

JK: Momma, I hold Baby.
ME: You want to hold Baby brother?
JK: nodding vigorously
ME: Okay, go sit on the sofa and Momma will let you hold him.

This kind of caught me off guard, as he never requests to hold EK. He doesn't really pay him much attention of any kind unless we say something first.

We go to the living room and JK jumps excitedly on the couch. Now, keep in mind, JK is only 26 lbs himself and Bubba is probably around 16 or 17 lbs.

JK: Clapping excitedly. MY BABY! I hold MY BABY!

I put EK gently into his lap, propped up with a pillow.

JK: Obvious exhale as Bubba sits on Big Brother's lap. Momma...Baby heavy! All done. As he slides away from the baby and scampers off the couch.

Yep. There's a reason we call him Bubba. LOL!

Easy There Big Fella!

2009-10-07T10:35:00.002-05:00

The routine when Daddy comes home from work:

1. Hugs and kisses all around
2. A quick change into comfy clothes

Last night, JK went into the bedroom with Daddy while Daddy changed into some shorts. While standing there in his boxers, JK playfully tugs Daddy's skivvies.

With N skittishly protecting himself - LOL!

Then the following conversation ensues:

JK: Daddy a big boy.
US: (laughing)
ME: Yes, Daddy is a big boy.
JK: (touching N's boxers again and saying quizzically) Daddy no diaper.
US: (laughing again)
ME: No, Daddy doesn't wear a diaper because he's a big boy.
N: When you stop wearing a diaper, then you'll be a big boy.
ME: So right now, you're a little boy.
JK: (defiantly putting his fists beside his hips, saying loudly) MOMMA, I A BIG BOY!!!
US: (desperately trying not to laugh and doing a miserable job. I think I might have even snorted.)

7 = Perfection

2009-10-05T09:15:00.006-05:00

Somewhere in a bible study in my past, I remember learning significant numbers in scripture. One of the things I remember is that the number seven usually signified perfection. It seems unusually appropriate today.

Seven years ago today, I married my best friend, lover, and companion.

The man who makes me smile and laugh daily. The man who always encourages me to pursue my dreams and gently nudges me out of my comfort zone. The man who has the patience of Job. The man whose tender heart and hands are helping me guide two little miracle boys. The man who understands the importance of chocolate, sushi, snuggles on a blue day, and a fresh pot of coffee on a Monday mornings.

Sweetheart, I know I don't say it enough, but you are so appreciated and we are so blessed to have you as husband and Daddy. This family just does not work without you! Even if the last seven years have had their downs, the ups are really wonderful. If we had to go through all of our "junk" again in life to get to each other, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Even though our lives don't look anything like I imagined back then that it would, everything seems...so...perfect.

Happy Anniversary Baby! Here's to 77 years of perfection! I love you!

XOXOXOXO!

mP

I'm Toast

2009-10-01T10:50:00.003-05:00

This morning I woke up about 3:30 to Monkey crying. He settled down pretty quickly so I didn’t get out of bed. But then I was wide awake. I laid there until 3:45 waiting for Bubba to wake up to eat. He'd been asleep since 9:00! But he never woke up, so I went into his room to wake him up for a dream feeding. I was engorged, but I knew if I went ahead and pumped, that he’d wake up immediately after and I’d have nothing to feed him. As I lifted him out of the cradle, he woke up quietly and then fed hungrily. Half way through, I put him on the changing table to change his dirty diaper, but I couldn’t see anything. I draped a blanket over his lamp and turned it on. Brighter than I wanted. I could see his squirmy little body. All the books say not to make eye contact with an awake baby in the middle of the night. They fall back asleep easier if it’s all business. So I changed his diaper quietly and with great difficulty, ignored his cute little noises and funny baby stretches. But when I went to pick him back up to nurse again, he smiled the biggest silly smile at me with his tongue sticking out.

*sigh*

How on earth am I supposed to ignore those???

Even though it’s in the middle of the night and I’d like nothing more than to go back to sleep, I smiled back and nuzzled on his milky-smelling neck. I love this boy so much! We had some more precious cuddle time as he nursed himself back to sleep. If these boys only knew how much control they have over us with just a tiny smile or a precious hug. It’d be total anarchy.

Our Sweet Angel

2009-09-27T22:44:00.010-05:00

When I was a little girl, my Gramma J called me "Angel Child".

One of the perks of being the only grandchild for 11 years and only girl grandchild for 15. :-)

She still sends me an angel Christmas ornament every year. Well, now the W household has the next generation of Angel Child. EK's three month portraits are a week early, but considering I was always a month late on JK's portrait sessions, I'm pretty happy. Speaking of happy...unless he's hungry or gassy, this kid has a perpetual smile on his face. Not that we're complaining. He really is a joyful little baby!

Birth Order and Parenting

2009-09-23T11:16:00.002-05:00

I read a blogpost a few days ago that talked about a mom’s parenting method having a lot to do with her birth order growing up. Something I’ve never really considered or cognizant enough about to notice in others around me. But it’s got me thinking a lot lately on my parenting methods and what’s good about it v. what’s not.

I’m a typical Type-A firstborn. I like schedules and deadlines, have an agenda, like being busy, have a tendency to be bossy, get impatient easily. I see the good and bad of that in my mothering techniques with JK, who is a lot like me.

Not sure if he’s like me because of genetics or because he’s also a firstborn or because of the example he sees in me. Eeks!

But it's making me rethink or at least be aware of some of the things I can do to make our relationship better. I can also see how my being raised by two firstborns made for a challenging household growing up! Three people wanting their way. Ouch! But when I compare that to my uncle (the third in four children), I see that his parenting techniques are vastly different from my father's.

So now I’m curious about other parents' experiences...

Do you see your birth order affecting your parenting technique?

Is your approach different with the children in your family or the same?

Do you see that your parents or siblings have a different parenting technique than you?

Do you think their birth order affected that?

Just looking at parenting in a different light today because of this and wondering if anyone else has thought of these things...

Out Of the Mouth of Babes...

2009-09-21T11:05:00.006-05:00

One of the things that I really love most about our sweet JK is his chattiness. He is such an outgoing, gregarious little guy and when his comfort level is high enough, is very chatty!

We noticed when he moved from the baby room at school to the toddler room, his vocabulary exploded. By 18 months he had well over 130 words. They weren't always understood to everyone, but Momma understood most of them. This past month, he has moved from the toddler room into the 2 year old room. Not only have we noticed another vocabulary growth spurt, but his comprehension has been nothing short of awesome to us. Some of the things we've heard around the W Mansion lately...

*****

Driving home from somewhere a few weeks ago, he sees a new Smart Car in the lane next to us and screams, "Baby car!"

***

JK has a large brown birthmark on his right knee, courtesy of the M genes on my side of the family. He always calls it his "owie". I tried to explain that it's not an owie, but a birthmark. That he was born with it and that it will never go away. He listens and says, "Burt Mark" and immediately runs into the living room and points to a picture of Daddy standing next to his Uncle Matt and Uncle Mark.

Um...not quite.

***

Most of you know that JK's very best sidekick is a stuffed monkey that a friend of ours gave him. He takes that thing EVERYWHERE and naptimes/bedtimes/fearful times are a disaster if we don't have "Momo" to comfort him.

Which is also why we have four of them in rotation. God help us if anything were to happen to them!

One morning, as N buckles JK into his carseat, JK takes Momo and puts him into the attached cupholder. Very proudly announcing, "Momo chair!"

***

The routine in the evening is for me to pick JK up from school and we go home to either play or start dinner. He's usually in the middle of eating dinner when Daddy comes home. One night, he was asking for Daddy from the moment we left school. I had to explain over and over, "Daddy's at work." Finally, either tired of asking or distracted with dinner, he stops asking me where Daddy is. But halfway through his food, we hear the Eclipse alarm beep and the front door open. JK's face lights up and he screams, "Daddy work all done!"

***

Watching the Mickey Mouse show on the Disney channel one morning, JK says, "Moush!", with an "sh" sound at the end. I said, "That's right, that's a mouse." When the part of the introduction, where Mickey's house springs alive, JK says, "Moush Housh".

Okay, so the vocabulary's big, but we're still working on enunciation.

***

The other day N walks JK down the street to see the new fire department that lives a block from us. When he points out the ambulance, JK says, "Owie". Yep, the ambulance is for people with owies!

We're still not sure how he knew that.

***

A few months ago, N's parents lost their beautiful collie, Barker. He was old and in ill health and had to be put down. We explained to JK that Barker was gone and that he had gone to heaven to be with Jesus. Just recently at bedtime, as we were saying our prayers, I asked JK, "Where is Jesus?" He points to the ceiling and says, "Heaven. Wif Barker."

***

At the beach a month ago he drops his pancake snack in the sand. His bottom lip immediately quivers and he starts crying. We soothe and explain that it's okay. We have more pancakes and the birds can eat what he's dropped. He sniffles and happily eats the new pancakes we put in his hand. About an hour later, he tries a crispy cold fresh carrot for the first time. Being the expressive tot that he is, he immediately scrunches his face up and spits the chewed carrot bits on the sand. Obviously fresh carrots are not a favorite. Both N and I said, "JK! Don't spit your food on the ground." He very casually shrugs and says, "Bird eat it."

***

It was early morning and I'm on the living room sofa nursing EK. JK wakes up and joins me. His hair a wild mess of curls and his puffy little face is so cute when he wakes up. He stands silently watching me nurse and says, "Baby milk". I said, "Yes, the baby's drinking milk." After another moment he says, "Boobies!" I'm caught a little off guard, but confirm to him, "Yes, baby's milk comes from Mommy's boobies." But I'm thinking to myself, OMG, this kid is too much! He contemplates this a moment longer and lifts his shirt to look at his torso. He then looks up with his eyes wide and says excitedly, "I have boobies too!"

*****

I'm sure there'll be more situations like these crop up, but I wanted to record them here, so I don't forget his sweet innocence. I know someday, probably too soon, he'll be screaming at me how I've ruined his life and how humiliating I am to him so I want to remember these sweet funny times to help balance those out! LOL!

Because I'm in Love

2009-09-15T14:40:00.006-05:00

EK has just started smiling this week. I just can't get enough of this little man. He was officially 9 weeks old yesterday and I'm just shaking my head over how time is flying AND how adorable this boy is! The older he gets, the more we realize he is really his own little person. He doesn't look like JK at all, nor does he seem to have the outgoing personality. While JK is always blowin' and goin' 0 to 90 in .05 seconds, Bubba reminds us of a lazy Sunday afternoon on a front porch swing.

Hello Mello!

Not much Mello here...

Does any other momma feel like the love they feel with their children is really a love affair? That they take your breath away? That you can't wait to see them when you've been apart? That leaving them leaves you in a wake of a strange loneliness?

I honestly wouldn't have it any other way...

Bubba Phat

2009-09-12T22:43:00.009-05:00

When we got pregnant with JK, somehow the nick-name "Monkey" entered the picture. When he was born, it just stuck. What's funny is that we call him Monkey so much that he answers to it like his own name. It's also pretty cute that he LOVES monkeys. He's got several stuffed ones that he's attached to, but in general a monkey-anything makes him happy.

When we got pregnant with EK, we just called him M2 for Monkey Two. I still call him that occasionally, but it's kinda gone by the wayside as time goes on. At some point in the last few weeks, the nickname "Chubba-chubba" came up, inspired by his little chub rolls and my friend Wendi that called her son that. Chubba-chubba morphed to Bubba, which morphed to our latest version by Daddy...Bubba Phat. Some pictures that might show WHY the name is appropriate.

Chunky cheeks...

A big round belly...

And my personal favorite...the roly-poly thighs...

And baby toes just because...

On Thursday, we had our two month well-check with Dr. N. We knew our sweet boy was a chunk, but had no idea his stats would look like this!

Weight - 13 lbs 7 oz (95th percentile)
Height - 22 1/2 in (75th percentile)

Sheesh! JK was always (and is still!) such a petite child that we were a bit taken aback by the numbers. (JK wasn't 15 lbs until close to 5 months.) Anyways, EK's been given a perfect bill of health even though he'd love nothing more than to nurse every hour every day. (Maybe he'll slim down once I go to work on Monday?) He's really starting to smile and coo and we're seeing his little laid back personality come out, which is really a lot of fun!

N and I feel so very, very blessed to have this adorable new little boy in our lives and really look forward to seeing our family adapt to being a family of four.

Our Big Boy

2009-09-05T13:56:00.000-05:00

Two years ago, this little man entered our lives...

...and things haven't been the same since. And we're so glad!

*******

Our sweet JK,

You have no idea how fast your life is flying before us. You are growing way too quickly! On the day we met you, I think more than anything, we were in awe. I was stunned. And I've never seen your Daddy so proud! Such a long hard road to have a baby and then to have one as beautiful and sweet as you. God was so good and showed us how wonderful He is by letting us have you. Another W male to continue the family name. It might sound silly, but the day you were born, I felt so honored to be a part of that. I still do!

We have watched you move from a tiny helpless baby, to an independent and opinionated toddler. While we miss your sweet baby-ness, we are constantly amazed at how much you've grown. You are adamant about your likes and dislikes and when you can't verbalize it, you are creative enough to find ways to communicate your wishes. Wishes that we try to honor, unless it's something harmful or teaching you something that God doesn't want for you. We pray all the time that He give us the wisdom to make good choices in raising you. You are so precious and we don't want to mess it up!

You are still officially a toddler, but lately we are noticing a new maturity about you. You just seem so big!

You are such a sweet big brother to little Baby EK. You are learning to share things, even though he's too little to understand what you're doing.

You don't even mind sharing Momma on occasion.

You are very strong in your verbal skills and you love chatting with people. You make friends quickly because you're funny and silly and people are attracted to your sweet demeanor. We see signs everywhere that you are becoming a big boy.

You love books. Even the boring ones.

You love to go for walks. You will often grab our hand and say, "Walk-a-ning? Momma go walk-a-ning?"

But you're a guys guy. 150 percent boy! You love trains and any other transportation toys.

You love any sports that involves a ball you can kick or throw.

You love contact sports.

It warms Momma's heart to see you have a creative streak. You love to use crayons and paint and know all of your colors so well. It makes Daddy so very proud when you hear a song and immediately stop whatever you're doing to dance and sing. You don't even care that you have an audience watching you. In fact, that makes it more fun!

You have your Momma's sweet tooth. You love all things "chockit"...

We are so very proud of your growth and accomplishments. We so look forward to watching you turn from a toddler into a big boy and then into an independent young man. Just remember that your Momma will forever look at you as her first baby...

...I can't help it. It's just what Momma's do.

Little Monkey, there is only one other being in this world that loves you more than Mommy and Daddy and that's Jesus. It's hard for me to imagine, but our love for you pales in comparison to His love for you.

HE IS THE REASON YOU ARE ALIVE AND HAVE A HOPE FOR YOUR FUTURE!!!

Please look to Him for the purest love one can receive. Mommy and Daddy will do their very best, but He will never ever fail you. You are a daily reminder that He has not failed us. We have no doubt that if we feel this proud and in love with you, that He feels that times a hundred. We can't wait for you to grow up and learn how He's shown that love to all of us.

The last two years have been the happiest two years of our lives and we attribute that to your presence! Happy Two Year Birthday Little Monkey! We love you so much.

Love,
Momma and Daddy

Getting Creative

2009-09-04T11:06:00.003-05:00

Because the batteries on the baby swing went out...

...so we're using Daddy's rocker-recliner. Don't worry. I'm sitting right next to him watching that he doesn't roll over. :-)

Coming Up For Air...

2009-09-02T10:22:00.002-05:00

I just cannot believe it's been almost two months since EK was born. Everyone says that when you have a child, that life flies at warp speed. And that once you have more than one child, it goes even faster. The speed at which time is going right now is positively taking my breath away. And not in the happy way either. :-(

A few things that are going on...

EK: Wow. This kid is so doggone cute! I still can't believe we're going through infancy with another child. I've forgotten how much fun this stage is. Funny little noises, precious baby snores, curled toes, and super soft skin. I love it all! He is growing leaps and bounds, which makes me sad, yet I love watching at the same time. He LOVES to eat and would do it around the clock if I let him! He has rolls that JK never had, so having a little chubba-chubba on our hands has been fun! We are looking forward to seeing his little personality come out more.

JK: This kid amazes me with his sense of humor and intelligence. We've struggled with a little extra whiney-ness, but otherwise, he's adjusting to being a big brother very well. He finds all of EK's funny baby noises funny and is quick to give his baby brother kisses and pats on the head. Recently, he's been going to the pool a lot with Daddy and has quickly gained confidence in the big pool. If Daddy doesn't watch him closely, he'll jump into the deep end without floaties and without a shred of fear. This kiddo has so much confidence! I pray all the time that God give us the wisdom to steer this child's independence and strong will into a healthy direction.

Daddy: I can't say enough about my sweet husband. He is so patient and helpful, both with the state of the house and the needs of the baby. He understands my love languages so well: quality time and acts of service. While we don't really have the opportunity at this point to spend much quality time together, he totally gets that helping around the house really makes me fall in love with him so much more.

Me: I'm tired. And happy. :-) I've chosen to nurse EK, which is a new experience for me. It's been a tough road, as there was a very steep learning curve for both EK and I. I was not prepared for how exhausting and WONDERFUL this experience would be. I was also not prepared how hungry this would make me. My daily schedule right now consists of eating, nursing, pumping, eating, sleeping, eating...you get the picture. I've always been a bit of a grazer, but now I'm grazing and eating a solid 5 or 6 meals a day. And we aren't talking the little meals, we're talking normal full-sized meals. I hope I can stop this rollercoaster once Evan decides to wean. I'll be big as a house otherwise. Ha!

Work: I go back in less than 10 days. I'm REALLY not looking forward to it. But I know that until N or I win the Lotto (which we don't play, so the likelihood of that is low) me being a FT working mom is just part of the picture. I'm trying to be okay with it, but still praying that the Lord provide an alternative so I can spend more time with the boys.

Housework: Hmm. This is a bit on the backburner right now. We're doing good to keep toilet paper in the bathroom at this point. But my husband really helps me keep perspective when I fret over the fact the house hasn't been dusted since before Evan was born. Today he said, "Perhaps. In a few years, I’d think you’d rather say: “Wow, I spent some great quality time w/ Evan during my maternity leave", than: “Wow, I got a lot done around the house on my maternity leave.” I love this guy. Keeps me focused in the right direction so many times.

Pictures: Yeah...when folks say you don't get as many of the second kid as the first, they're right. I love bragging about how cute the little turkey is, so I'll prove it by posting some shots soon.

Anyways, the little guy is hollering at me, so time to run. Will try to be back in less than a month. Ha!

Brotherly Love

2009-07-26T22:05:00.000-05:00

On Sunday, Momma got a deeply needed nap and Daddy Monkey flew solo with both boys for a few hours. I think it went better than if it were Momma flying solo. LOL!

So the only way we can get Monkey to smile is say, "Show us your teeth." Yeah. LOL!

There we go. Much better!

You want me to hold him? Isn't sitting next to him enough?

I guess this isn't too bad.

This baby brother doesn't do much. Guess I'll watch some Wonder Pets instead.

Commercials are boring. Hey wanna play with my monkey?

Hey...not so friendly...

...that's MY monkey!

M2 Has Arrived!

2009-07-21T21:39:00.004-05:00

Evan Kamuela
7lb 11oz
20in
Born 7/13/09, 12:34 pm

A beautiful, beautiful boy...

Our immediate reaction was that he looked like JK at birth and in comparing pictures he really does. (So again, another boy that looks like his Daddy!)

JK a few hours old...

EK a few hours old...

But as the days pass, we see that he has his own unique little look and his own personality. Which we look forward to seeing more and more of his personality come out as time goes on. The big similarity to big brother is that he is VERY alert and loves listening and looking around at everyone. The big main differences is that as of right now, we don't seem to have any feeding (allergy-related) issues and EK is a fabulous sleeper. Both of which were a challenge with JK. So we're feeling very blessed in that aspect!

The birth experience was exactly as I wanted it to be. After 9 hours of labor and a sedated C-section, I don't remember much about JK's birth or the several days after that. So this time with a planned C-section, I requested no sedation after the epidural so I could be aware during the surgery. I was a little sleepy, like I'd had one too many margaritas, but I was awake and aware during the entire surgery and remember all the details, which was really wonderful!

In the recovery room I felt great in my Bear Hugger. A special hospital gown they pump with hot air to keep you warm. That was WONDERFUL! Wanted to take it home...

On the second day in the hospital, we had a birthday party for the family. JK LOVES the birthday song and of course, loves presents too, so we decided to make their introductions to each other a fun and special event.

Gluten-free cupcakes, that were very well received...

...as long as he didn't have to share with the new little brother...

...and presents for the new big brother.

After a 4-day hospital stay, they finally let us go home...

...and this is how we celebrated once we got there. Chillin' in the swing...

Right now, our lives consist of diapers, nursing, eating, occasionally showering and sleeping. And...

...baby socks that never stay on...

...precious little newborn stretches (Mandi, this one's for you!)...

...this angelic face that I never tire of just staring at. Even when he's got adorable little baby snores...

It is not lost on us how many others are still waiting and working hard to start or expand their families. There is nothing in our lives that has tested our faith quite like waiting for our family come together over the years. This outcome is nothing like we planned. Nothing. But this difficult journey, through the disappointments and losses, our hearts have softened towards His will, whatever that might be, even in other areas of our lives.

All in all, we are overwhelmed with thankfulness to be this sleep deprived and worn out. EK has finally arrived and while the journey here was a challenge for him and Momma, we know that the journey from here on out is really the hard part. Raising two children as God would have us do, is the ultimate challenge in life. It is easily failed, but with a lot of support from family and our church, we believe we are on the right track.

As we move through raising these boys, we ask that you please pray for us to make good decisions, to have a God-given patience, and maintain a wonderful marriage in the midst of it. And we thank you for all the hundreds of prayers that have already been lifted on our behalf and on behalf of our children. We know you have sacrificed much of yourselves for us and for that we are very, very grateful!

Exhiliration

2009-07-17T23:15:00.005-05:00

I remember when I was a little girl, that if I had just the right type of dress or skirt, it was always fun to twirl around in it. The bigger the skirt, the more fun to twirl, and the prettier I felt. Like a princess!

The last two weeks or so, I've felt that same exhiliration. I've felt the world spinning around me, the excitement of our coming child, the winds of change blowing my hair into my face and mouth. I've felt very pretty. Silly I know. I was huge, swollen, uncomfortable, hot and sweaty most of the time. But in the midst of that, I've had this sweet sense of my womanliness. My swollen belly, my pink painted toes, my bright skin and strong nails and hair. I had made a choice lately to wear the cutest clothes I could fit and to always have my makeup and hair done. Usually when I do this, it's an attempt to achieve a "fake-it-till-you-make-it" mentality. Look pretty = feeling pretty. But the last several weeks I've actually felt it and decided to just look it. Like a blue moon, this doesn't happen often. Knowing this, I thought I'd just run with it. I'm still in the cloud of that sensation, in spite of all the chaos and hormones. I'm attempting to relish in that feeling, as I know they don't always stay long. So...

Please pardon our blog-land absence this past week. We are working on a detailed post about the latest change in our lives...but we haven't gathered and downloaded all the pictures yet. So thank you for your patience!!!

But right now, we are enjoying Life and will update everyone very soon.

It's Not a Wives' Tale

2009-07-10T09:18:00.001-05:00

This past Monday night, I started contracting pretty hard around 9:30 or so. I've had serious Braxton Hicks with both pregnancies, but if you've had BH, you know the difference between that and real labor contractions. These weren't BH! The discomfort was more painful and lower. At first they were around 15 or so minutes apart, but after about an hour, they were closer to 9 minutes apart and pretty intense. We called my OB, who said if they got down to 5 minutes apart for an hour, to give her a call and head into Labor and Delivery. So we stayed at home and continued to monitor. Over the next several hours, the contractions continued to be intense and started getting closer. We got down to 6 minutes apart, but not under 5.

I was so ready to go to the hospital!

Finally around 2 am, they got less intense and finally abated completely. They picked up again with some full intensity around 4 am and continued for another couple hours, but never less than 9 minutes apart. Again, around 6 am, they abated completely.

Big fat false alarm. Grrrr!

The next day, a coworker mentioned to me that it was a full moon and that her grandmother said more women go into false labor on full moon nights. I laughed it off, but the thought nagged at me the rest of the day. The moon controls the tides of the oceans. Could it have some kind of effect on the tides within my womb?

So I asked my OB on Tuesday about it. She laughed with me over it, but nodded the whole time.

"There are many crazy wives' tales and myths about women and labor, but the full moon is not one of them. Hospitals are known to staff up higher on full moon nights because there is something to them that we can't explain. There are more women that go into false labor and even labor on full moon nights. It's the real thing."

So there you have it. If I'd known it was a full moon that night, I might have been able to contain some of my excitement about M2's possible early arrival. As it stands, unless he really decides to make an earlier appearance, this coming Monday at high noon, M2 will be introduced to the world via C-section.

We're excited.

We're nervous.

We're overwhelmed.

We're ready.

And we're not.

But more than anything we praise our amazing Heavenly Father for the miracle He has created within me. This child is not of our doing, but His. Even though we find it crazy that we have yet another unexpected biological child on the way, it's not a surprise to Him. And somehow in that craziness, we find comfort in the fact that this huge change in our lives has already been sifted through His fingers.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16

This not only means the days ordained outside of the womb, but within. Monday night might have been a disappointment or surprise to us, but it wasn't to God. He knows the exact moment and time that little M2 will join this world.

So with that thought, we are enjoying our last weekend as a family of three. The nursery is not finished, nor do we know how things will go with Monkey and M2. But we have the essentials that will fulfill our son's needs once he's arrived. We don't plan on doing much other than enjoying each other and our only child Monkey for the next few days. In the meantime, we covet your prayers for a smooth delivery, the health of our child, and a smooth transition for our firstborn.

Our next post will most likely reflect details of the newest person in the W clan.

Blessings!
A & N

Overheard Today

2009-06-30T12:40:00.003-05:00

A lactation/nursing video was playing on the big screen in the waiting room of my OB's office today. In the midst of it, a little 2 1/2 year old toddler goes, "Mommy, what's that baby DOING?!" Momma was beet red and so embarrassed she stayed silent and tried to shush the girl. The lady sitting across from little girl says in a thick British accent, "She's eating lunch." Little girl continues to watch in alarmed amazement, while the rest of us in the full waiting room begin to chuckle.

Although, I didn't chuckle too hard. JK is enough of a chatterbox for me to know that someday I'll be experiencing similar conversations.

The look on the momma's face reminded me of when I was about 14 or so and I had "snuck" a boyfriend over to my house when I was babysitting my twin brothers during summer vacation. Boyfriend and I were sitting on the back porch talking when one of my potty-training brothers called from inside the house, "Sister!!! I'm done poop-ing! Come wipe my bu-utt!"

I wanted to crawl into a hole. Boyfriend just laughed, while I turned 10 shades of teenaged embarrassment. I always thought that was God's way of punishing me for sneaking a boyfriend over when my parents were gone.

Do any of you parents have experiences where your little ones have said something that embarrassed you or caught you off guard?

Too Cute!

2009-06-27T22:30:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I am still in awe that my baby brothers are daddies. So weird. But they sure do make cute babies! (I stole these off their FB profiles.)

JK & C and baby DF...

JL and baby J...

I Can't Get Enough!

2009-06-26T10:15:00.005-05:00

I hate to sound cliche, but this is one of my cravings right now. Cannot eat enough of these things! Vlasic Baby Kosher Dills...

And when they're paired with something really, really sweet like Rice Divine's Mudd Pie ice cream or Kinnikinnick K-Toos (think GF Oreos), they taste even better. I know, I know, I'll readily admit it sounds gross, but I can't explain it. My cravings have gotten worse and more bizarre the closer to the due date I get!

My only consolation is that at least I have an excuse. If I'm still doing this in a few months after M2 arrives, please somebody, start an intervention. I've got enough weirdness in me without stuff like this adding to it!

A Couple Grease Monkeys

2009-06-23T23:21:00.001-05:00

This week, N decided to put new brakes on the Eclipse. I just love how he's handy like that! (So does our bank account!)

And of course, our busy body toddler has to get involved in anything that Daddy's involved in...

What amazes me is N's patience in situations like this. He let Monkey pretend to loosen lug nuts and play with all of his tools. While if this were Momma, I'd be having a stroke over him getting hurt, too dirty, or losing an important piece of equipment.

But like everything else, N takes it all in stride and just let's Monkey learn and grow and in the meantime, have some wonderful male bonding time.

And get filthy dirty...

I honestly can't remember Monkey having such a good time with his Daddy...

So much so, that when Daddy was done, Monkey had a hard time coping...

The Meltdown...

...that carried on for 15 minutes and into the bathtub. Which took an entire bottle of baby soap to wash the grease off and left a ring around the tub that will take forever to wash off.

One thing I love about kids (and sexy husbands): they're washable. :-)

Every Day Father

2009-06-22T09:11:00.012-05:00

I had planned this past week to have this wonderful, sweet, poignant little Father’s Day post. But Father’s Day weekend was a bit of a bust. Father’s Day gifts and plans did not quite pan out the way we had intended, due to the heat, the fact that I have the energy of a slug in hard hibernation, and somebody else giving N the exact gift I had intended to give.

Funny now, but not at the moment type of thing. I felt my thunder was stolen. I pouted for awhile, but now I'm over it. LOL!

So this weekend, while I cried at the drop of a hat due to physical pain, frustration with my physical limitations, hormones, and limited patience for a toddler that is exercising his independence, N, again, has taken everything in stride and dealt me many hands of grace. His patience with me and Monkey and energy to just do what needs to be done amazes me. I really cannot say enough about this sweet husband of mine. I have seen him grow over the years in so many ways, but it seems the past few months, he has really just stepped up and become so much more than I ever expected. I am humbled and grateful and I know I do not deserve such a man. But for whatever reason, God has given him to me and I'm so happy for it.

Last night was a tough night. Monkey was up a few times and I hadn’t been sleeping well anyways. So I brought him into the living room to snuggle and sleep on the recliner with me. He'd had another bad dream and I just felt it “right” to snuggle instead of being the tough momma and make him go back down in his own bed. He sat in the recliner and in his little vocabulary told me about his dream. (Which I will post about at another time.) After talking for a few moments, we both drifted off. I awoke to the sunlight streaming into the living room and immediately knew that we had overslept. But I didn’t care. He was sleeping soundly in my arms, tiny rosebud lips slightly parted, curly hair askew, and the sweetest of toddler snores coming out of him. So precious! I felt like God was giving me a little gift and I didn’t want to miss it. So I sat for a bit just enjoying the moment. After a few minutes he started stirring, I think because he was too warm against my oven of a stomach. So I gently rolled him over on his side and stuck a cool pillow under him, while I struggled like an overturned turtle to get out of a rocker recliner without waking him.

Both N and I took showers as quickly as possible, because getting ready without a toddler underfoot is truly a gift to start the day.

Or is this just us that thinks that?

After I dried off, I walked down the hall to the front of the house and saw this…

My man and our son…

And it dawned on me...

...Father’s Day is everyday.

A father is not a once a year celebration. At least not in this family. While it's always fun to have a special day of recognition once a year, if the man is not a father the rest of the time, what's the point of that one day? What are you celebrating? And it's in these moments, like this morning, that I celebrate my son's father. My partner, my best friend, my lover, and the AMAZING father of our children.

Happy Monday precious!

WWF "Double You" Style

2009-06-17T16:03:00.009-05:00

Just this week I had a memory resurface during a conversation with a male co-worker. We were talking about the differences between men/women and boys/girls. He’s one of the middle of four boys, so his childhood experiences were much different than mine. But upon talking with him, one of the things that I suddenly remembered was that when my twin brothers were little, they would wrestle ALL.THE.TIME! Seriously, it was like watching a couple tiger or bear cubs in those nature shows that wrestle to learn self-defense skills. They weren’t fighting (usually), but it was mostly good-natured wrestling. They were always touching, hitting, flicking, slapping, tugging, which almost always turned into an arm-flinging, leg sprawling, head-locking wrestling match. The only thing that makes this memory funnier is that more often than not, my father would be right in the middle of it. Watching the two of them as little boys pounce on my 6’ 1”, 200 lb father, like they actually had the upper hand, was always comical.

But I never got it.

As I relayed this memory to my coworker, he just sat in my cube, laughing, hiding his eyes and mouth behind his hand, like he completely related to the scenario. As one of four boys, he said wrestling was an everyday occurrence in his household. And now, even as full grown men, in their 30’s and 40’s, they still have wrestling matches when they get together.

Seriously? As adult men with wives and children?

Yep. And their mother still fusses at them that they’re going to get hurt or break her furniture, just like she did decades ago.

As a girl, this is something I just do not relate to. But then considering there is 11 years between me and my brothers, the typical sibling rivalry relationship is something I don’t relate to either, so whatever.

But now, as a mom to a boy, I see how he interacts with my sweet and gentle husband, and I just can’t believe this is anything other than how the male species is hardwired. One of the things that Monkey LOVES to do is wrestle with Daddy.

Again, I don’t get it.

When they wrestle, I literally have to leave the room. It makes my teeth and my jaw hurt because of the stress. I imagine stitches and concussions and bruises that make a stranger wonder if CPS needs to be called on us. That hasn’t happened yet (knock on wood) and mostly what I hear from down the hall is my son laughing hysterically, Daddy grunting dramatically, and a lot of tickling. It sounds exactly like my brothers wrestling with our Dad years ago. Last night, De-dah came over and for one memorable night, N handed the match over to the previous reigning champion.

With his love for hoops, Monkey somehow managed to mix wrestling with “bakket-bah”.

Monkey comes from behind...

But he's not quick enough on the draw...

Even when it was obvious De-Dah was winning...

Monkey always managed to get the upper-hand...

As this continued for awhile, I remembered my brothers. And I imagined Monkey and M2 doing the exact same thing, building the same silly wonderful memories with each other and with their Dad and De-dah. If his in-utero movements are any indication, Monkey might be given a run for his money!

I have no doubt I have some serious internal bruising from this guy. To the point where "M2" is often replaced with "Bruiser".

As for Momma, I am perfectly content to be a spectator on the sidelines. Or down the hall where I don't actually have to watch it.

Sleepy Monkey

2009-06-14T15:07:00.007-05:00

During the week, Monkey has a pretty strict schedule because he's at school. Breakfast, snacktimes, lunches, and naptimes are almost always exact to help the teachers keep things under control with a room full of toddlers. Weekends at home with Momma and Daddy are a little more lax, but we attempt to keep things as close as possible to the weekday schedule to prevent too much transition on Mondays. This past weekend, naptime was a little skewed because we were out for the morning and lunch (thus naptime) was moved back. Little Man actually had to be woken up from his nap on Saturday, which NEVER happens!

Even after three hours of napping, he wouldn't wake up even to the camera flash in the room...

Daddy watching him try to wake up...

The stinkeye: you might have to click to see the detail on his face, but it made N and I laugh out loud...

I love the sweaty mess of curls on his head. His hair is starting to grow out again and all of my favorite curls are back...

99% of the time, he's in the sweetest mood when he first wakes up...

I just love this little guy!

Tossing My Cap

2009-06-05T16:22:00.002-05:00

The last few months have been a bit of a whirlwind. What am I saying? The past few years have been a whirlwind. Ha! Seriously, the speed at which time flies astounds me. N and I are a few short months from having been married for 7 years. Holy schmoly, where has the time gone? It’s overwhelming when I realize that I initially met my husband in my mid-twenties and now I’m on the downhill slope towards my 40’s.

I’m wanting to crinkle my nose at that thought, but realized it’s just adding to my crow’s feet and wrinkled brow. If you can look at the mirror and not see either, just nod and pretend you understand what you’re reading. Because there is a point in almost every woman’s life that seriously wonders, “Is Botox really that bad?” If you haven’t thought that, your crow’s feet and wrinkled brow haven’t had enough development. Give yourself some time…the thought is coming.

As we near the end of this pregnancy, I have a condition that’s akin to “senioritis”. If you’re a teacher to high school seniors, you know what I mean. Or if you’ve ever BEEN a high school senior, you should know what I mean. That last year of school gives you an antsy-ness like nothing before in your life. You know that it’s your last year and you’ve worked hard for the perks that come with being the elite of your high school campus. You class schedule is light, you get a longer lunch period, you get the best parking spaces and unlike the underclassmen, YOU’RE ALMOST DONE!!! While the level of excitement amongst seniors is palpable, there is an undercurrent of melancholy because you also realize that your life is about to change in dramatic ways. These kids that you’ve spent much of your life growing up around are about to all go their separate ways. Sure, some of you are going to the same college or a few might even be roomies once you get to college, but you know you’re on the precipice of adulthood. You’re not a kid anymore and those last few months, days, weeks before graduation really need to be savored. While the opportunities you see in your future are exciting, you also know that once you cross that stage for that diploma, nothing will ever be the same.

You can never go back.

Both of my pregnancies have been difficult. I can’t say that I’ve enjoyed myself either time. Incredibly ironic after our infertility journey. And yet, it is with a bittersweet heart that I realize THIS IS IT. I’m almost done. While I’m so excited to meet this little boy, there is an element of sadness that this is the last time I’ll experience being pregnant.

If you don’t know, it is. We’re done. I’m really getting too old for this. If I have any eggs left, they’re like the wrinkled old maids at the bottom of the popcorn bowl.

So I let my heart marinate in the melancholy for a moment. This is the last time that I’ll feel those little jabs and rolls in my womb and rub cocoa butter on my over-stretched skin. This is the last time people will help carry things unasked or stand aside for me simply because of my fragile physical condition.

This is the last time that I’ll have a role in creating and nurturing a miracle hand-in-hand with my Heavenly Father.

Have you momma’s ever looked at it that way? What other chance do you get to do that? Strange, isn’t it?

Wow.

And then...

And then, I realize – this is also an end to the heartburn! No more morning sickness! No more constipation! No more hourly trips to the potty! No more awkward pregnancy sex! No more gestational diabetes! Oh, the silver lining is bright and shining my friends! I don't even have to search for it. Suddenly the melancholy marinade has all but dried up and my mind reels from the excitement of what’s to come…

A Little Monkey, all wrinkled and pink, with a button nose, peapod toes and a fuzzy head. Tiny newborn clothes and midnight feedings and teaching Big Monkey terms like “gentle” and “nice”. Belly button stumps and tiny socks that never stay on. I get the pleasure and privilege of doing all of that all over again and honestly, I cannot wait! I’m not naïve. I understand that sleep deprivation, constant worry, and endless diapers come with that cute package. In the meantime, I’ll attempt to savor the last five weeks of this experience and not rush through it. But I’d be lying if I said I’m not looking forward to what change is on the horizon.

Monkey at 36 weeks gestation...

M2 at 34 weeks gestation...

I think I see a little resemblance, no? :-)

Unless M2 decides to join us earlier, July 13th is our scheduled date for a C-section. I’m really ready to toss this cap and meet this kiddo!

And no, Dad and Gramma, names have not been picked out. Well, they have, I just can't get N to commit to it.

What I MEANT To Say...

2009-06-02T08:15:00.001-05:00

When N and I count our blessings, our Small Group is always one of those things at the top of our list. This group of people have surrounded us with love, encouragement, and nurturing for several years. They mourned and grieved with us in our hormonal infertility journey and two miscarriages. They have literally laid hands on me and prayed for God to open my womb. They have joyously celebrated with us as the first folks to know about Monkey's conception...literally...even before our family. It is with this group of friends that God has pulled us closer to Him, sharpened our minds, and made us accountable in our walks. We seriously cannot thank Him enough for giving us these folks, who I call "Jesus in skin".

This past Sunday, these awesome friends hosted a diapers and wipes shower for us during our Sunday School class. They had a gorgeous breakfast spread, including some super yummy gluten-free raspberry muffins! (Thank you Kristen!) I'm just kicking myself for not remembering my camera that morning, because the breakfast table looked beautiful. And then there was the HUGE PILE of diapers and wipes standing next to it! The generosity from everyone in our Joshua Tree class was overwhelming to say the least.

When it came time for praise/prayer requests that morning, we just had to sing the praises of everyone in that room. I had it all planned out. I knew pretty much what needed to be said. Except when I opened my mouth the dam of emotions kinda took over and I lost all composure. :-( For those of you that were there, please forgive me for blubbering, so I feel the need to really state what my heart felt at the moment.

What I meant to say was, "Thank you all for being such an integral part of our journey the last few years. We seriously leaned on you during some very tough times. Most of you carried us and had hope for us because we were too broken to have hope for ourselves. We can't thank you enough for standing by us during those times and for your generosity today. The tough economy has taken it's toll on all of us and we completely understand that some of you have given sacrificially to give us gifts today. We are very touched with you even being here to help us celebrate our SECOND little monkey, let alone the generosity of that huge pile of diapers and wipes."

The only thing that I can add since then, is a big thank you to those of you that also gave sweet little gifts to Monkey as the new big brother! We are so grateful to those of you that remembered him...you guys are so awesome! We plan on keeping those gifts on stand-by until M2 arrives, so Monkey can feel loved and pampered when the stress of a sibling arrives.

We love you man! :-)

Date Night!

2009-05-31T15:46:00.013-05:00

The last several months in our Small Group, we have been watching some marriage videos. One that really hit home with us, the speaker said that Satan will do everything he possibly could to take away a couple's most important asset: time together. We started taking a look at our schedule and realized that if that was the case, then Satan was already getting a foothold on us. We noted that there were some weeks that we spent more time "together" via email or text than in real time conversation. We laughed at first, but seriously...how sad is that?

So since then, we have been much more mindful about spending couple time together, not as Momma and Daddy, but as N and A the married couple. We've been keeping the television off more often. We've been working on chores together before we rest for the evening. And then this past weekend we asked N's parents to watch Monkey so we could get out on the town.

YES...a real live date night!

At the drop, Monkey didn't even bother saying good-bye...

He was too busy having a blast with Gramma and De-dah...

A shot of us on the way out...

We went to a great little place off Knox-Henderson called Fireside Pies. They had gluten-free pies! I ordered a gluten-free pizza with thinly sliced tomatoes, crimini mushrooms, black olives, carmelized red onions, and chopped homemade meatballs. One word: YUM-O!!! The crust was magnificent - thin, crispy on the edges and chewy on the inside. The price for my pizza alone was $21, but it was worth it. It's been years since I've eaten pizza "out" and it was an awesome experience all around. All the carbs didn't even send me over the edge with my GD sugar levels, so double Yay!

I wish I'd have gotten a picture of my beautiful pie, but I was too busy stuffing my face like a little monster. So here's a picture of the leftovers of which I ate for breakfast and lunch today...

We went to Starbucks down the street to have some drinks and I could sample the gluten-free Orange Valencia Cake. I only nibbled on it because I was afraid I'd pass out from the sugar. But it was lovely! As was the whole experience. We sat on the patio with our yummy drinks, kicked our feet up, and watched a gorgeous sunset. Yes, that big green mound on the bottom left of the picture is M2.

We went home, I took a bubble bath, and crashed. An awesome night all around!

Assumptions (with an addendum)

2009-05-26T10:05:00.008-05:00

There are a few characters in my life that have somehow, somewhere, someway gotten the impression that I lean in a particular direction politically and religiously. I’m not sure where they would get this particular idea, as I have not disclosed to these folks how I feel about either discussion. Nor have they asked. But I feel the need to put a stop to the endless email forwards they consistently send me. Or, as I feel sometimes, the spam they assault me with. I’m just not sure how to do it without sounding completely catty or rude.

Could you please quit sending me these political emails screaming your current disdain for our President or other political/religious leader?

Or how about…

Please stop assuming that because I hang out with you or go to a specific church or hang out with a certain mutual friend, that we have the same political/religious belief.

Yeah, not so nice, huh?

Yes, I have many friends that have a particular religious and political slant. I have friends that are on the total opposite spectrum of those beliefs. Believe it or not, some of those friends worship under the same church roof! I love having different friends with different beliefs, because it teaches me both sides of the story and teaches me to respect differences. BUT...it does not mean that I agree with every issue or doctrine, nor does it mean that I box myself in with a title of Republican, Democrat, Baptist, or any other label I could glue to my bumper. Why is it that with these type of titles, it’s always an all-or-nothing package? Especially since the definition of some of those titles can be totally different for different people. I don’t get it. Why is our world so black and white? Why have these characters assumed because I have a specific belief or tenet that they have the freedom to stick a title on me? It’s bothersome.

And as I write this, venting my own frustration, I am wondering…do I do the same thing to others? Do I stick titles or labels on someone because I have a tiny glimpse into their thoughts and assume they feel XYZ about other stuff too? I’m sure I do. Assumptions. Dangerous things. And suddenly wondering where I need to make my own amends…

EDITED TO ADD: Please do not worry that I'm speaking specifically of anyone that reads this blog. The folks that I have mentioned are not close friends, nor do they even know about this blog. So please don't worry about me pointing a finger at anyone of you readers through a blog blitz. I just happened to find my soap box and decided to stand on it specifically because I knew some of you would understand. :-)

Another Grandbaby in the M Family!

2009-05-20T07:04:00.003-05:00

If you click here, you'll see that I'm an Auntie again! Woohoo!! Little JH joined the world last Sunday morning. He's so tiny and so adorable!

My son's namesake and his new family...

How adorable is this little guy??? He's so teeny-tiny!

My sweet brothers (twins) and their adorable boys...only six weeks apart. Practically twins themselves!

I imagine my parents are a little shell-shocked with having grandbabies born so close together. Hang on tight Mom and Dad! We still have another one coming!

Baby Dreams

2009-05-18T14:53:00.007-05:00

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.

~ Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Boy, isn't that the truth?

I think Monkey woke up about 3:00/3:30 his morning…I can’t really remember now. He was just fussy at first, but eventually really crying and calling "Momma" like he was scared. I went into his room and patted the mattress and he immediately lay back down, but he didn’t really go back to sleep. I sat on the floor next to him for awhile, with my arm in the crib slat rubbing his back. He kept coughing and I could hear his nose sniffling. Every now and then his head would pop up and he’d go, “Nose, nose”, which he says when he wants to blow his nose. So I’d get a tissue and wipe it. He’d lie back down, but still not fall asleep. I knew as soon as I left he was going to cry, so I finally lied down next to his crib on some pillows. His request for a tissue happened three or four times over the course of an hour. At that point, I was getting really uncomfortable on the floor, so I scooped him up and took him into the living room with me, where we snuggled on Daddy’s recliner. He eventually went to sleep, but by then I was wide awake.

Two times after that, he’d wake up crying. Hard. He’d been dreaming of something bothersome. I’d always pat his arm or rub his cheek and snuggle him tight, so he’d known Momma was there. He’d turn his head into my chest and eventually his breathing would even out. Monkey is not a snuggler at all anymore, so the resentment over the lack of precious sleep disappeared. I knew this sweet moment was fleeting and in my sleepy stupor, started a prayer of thanksgiving. It's hard for me to think of anything anymore without this child on the fringes of my mind. It's like I'm perpetually distracted from work, home, sleeping...strange.

The last time he cried, it took awhile for him to settle. He cried so hard in his dream that he had that after-cry hiccup, in spite of still being asleep. It was so sad! I realize it’s a part of human nature, but I really hate that he has bad dreams. What on earth could be so awful that his tiny subconscious brain would make him dream and hiccup cry? I suddenly realized that the maternal instinct in me wants to protect him from every harm out there, real or imagined. We snuggled for a little while longer and eventually both fell into deep sleeps. I woke up again about 5:15 or so because he was stirring. I could tell he was getting uncomfortable in my arms and needed to really lie down, so I took him back to his bed.

When he finally woke up at the usual time, he was crabby and fussy while we got ready for work. All morning he was throwing tantrums or just out and out crying in misery. We were late rising, so unfortunately, Momma didn’t have enough time to really soothe or patience enough to be tender. Today he’s at N’s mom’s and I’m so glad. He’ll get loved on, explore and play to his heart’s content. His needs are never impatiently handled with Gramma…she is sweet, devoted and Monday’s are always about whatever he wants. What are Gramma’s for, right? When I called a little while ago, Gramma C said he was fine. Not fussy, not anything but curious, playful and sweet, like he always is. I was glad. Sometimes we all just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, even when we’re little people.

You know, even with tough mornings like this morning, I am just so in love with this little boy. While my impatient side is breathing a sigh of relief as he climbs into the car with Daddy this morning, my heart is craving him back in my arms as soon as he’s out of my sight and reach. If there is a cure for being this in love, I don’t even want it. I am perfectly content to be whole-heartedly distracted by this child!

This Past Week in Pictures

2009-05-17T21:11:00.010-05:00

I had the camera out a lot this week for just random stuff. I think it's because I know in a few short months, I won't have the time or energy to capture all the sweet things about our precious Monkey and his little brother. While I'm looking forward to meeting M2, I'm relishing in the moments of Monkey's last few days as an only child. Moments he'll probably never remember, but ones that I will.

Tandem mowing with Daddy...

"Watering" the oleander...

Showing off the yard tools to the cute neighbor girl. He's not sure why she's not more impressed...

Looked for some new recipes for Momma to try...

Rappin' out some tunes...

Learning how to balance...

I love these two guys!

My Socks Are Long Gone

2009-05-13T20:52:00.009-05:00

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom can be no variation, neither shadow that is cast by turning. - James 1:17

Do you ever outgrow that need to check them after they've slept for awhile?

Every single night since this little boy has entered into our lives, I sneak into his room after he's fallen asleep to just stare. And be in awe. And spend some one-in-one time with my Heavenly Father. This is where He draws me close to Him every evening. This...this is where I find myself the most comforted, the most humbled, the most encouraged in His presence...watching my son sleep.

I've been a firm believer that sometimes God relishes in our not expecting a specific blessing. For a long time, I had given up the dream of ever having a child, let alone a biological child. So I think our Heavenly Father took a special joy in handing us a gift that would totally blow our socks off. I'd like to think that he enjoyed handing to me such a funny, silly, ornery, excitable, active, chatterbox of a boy. It was more than I ever, ever expected!

So while I'm challenged with fears about adding another child to the mix, there is that part of me that is giddy with anticipation over what's to come. I'm sure it will be hard. I'm sure we'll be sleep deprived, overwhelmed and at times wonder whether or not we're going to get through the day. But I also know that in the mix of it all, we will be standing in awe over God's love and willingness to bless...just because He CAN.

I hope in those moments, that we remember that it truly is HIM that gives every good and perfect gift...that these children are not "ours", but His.

White Water Rafting

2009-05-13T15:13:00.007-05:00

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed. Being pregnant, currently having a toddler, soon to add a newborn, working full-time, managing a household, maintaining a happy marriage, navigating around a new gestational diabetes diet (along with my GF/DF/SF diet), adjusting Monkey to a GF diet, sticking to a tight financial budget, and doing it all successfully seems so incredibly daunting to me. I have my good days and bad days, but lately, I just feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. I don’t say this to complain. It’s just where I’m at right now. I know I’m not going through anything that every other mother goes through at some point during her life journey. I know my life is immensely blessed! I know that. But knowledge and emotions are two different things and remembering the knowledge in the heat of the moment can be a struggle.

A blog I enjoy keeping up with is The Amazing Trips. The blog should be more aptly named The Amazing Jen and Charlie. After years of infertility, Jen and Charlie had triplets, and then a few years later, a singleton. Right now, they have four children, all four and younger. Chaos IS their daily agenda, not just part of it. She works at home full-time, has four children that do NOT go to daycare, has a happy marriage, cleans her own home, cooks her own meals, trains for and runs marathons, works hard to volunteer for cancer research and most times…manages to keep her head attached to her body. She is down-to-earth, shares her heart and doesn’t try to put on airs to make her life look like something it isn’t. She is real in all the good AND bad stuff, even if it might be embarrassing to her or cause her to gain criticism from her readers. I really admire that!

Another family I enjoy keeping up with is Jon and Kate + 8. I like watching their TV show for the same reasons. They are real. They argue, there’s a ton of noise and screaming with the kids, the kids are into everything, there is not one single moment of peace in this family’s life. Sometimes it’s hard to watch. The noise in itself is clamoring and makes my ears and head hurt. I don’t like how Kate talks condescendingly to her husband a lot of the time, but I also understand I have a teeny-tiny window into their lives – I don’t live it. So I can’t judge and point fingers, because there are times I probably talk the same way to N. But the REALITY of their lives is CHAOS and it shines through very vividly and Jon and Kate make no effort to put on airs for the public. I really admire that!

As a girl who has lived for several years in what I call the “Smiling Baptist Bubble”, the concept of living a transparent life is something I support whole heartedly, but struggle to put into action. What is the Smiling Baptist Bubble? It’s seeing all your friends on Sunday at church, wearing your Sunday best, and when someone asks you how you’re doing, you put on the June Cleaver smile and say, “Fine. Things are really fine. How are you?” as you twirl the strand of pearls around your neck. When in fact, you feel like you’re holding a pot lid on the volcano of chaos in your heart and life and have no clue what the heck you’re doing.

Am I the only one living in this bubble? If your answer is yes, please don’t tell me. Ignorance is sometimes my bliss. :-)

I guess another (selfish) reason I enjoy keeping up with those families, is that it helps me keep perspective. If Jen and Charlie can work FT from home with four kids four and under, then I can handle my life. If the Jon and Kate can handle 8 children, 6 of them toddlers, then I can handle my life. But something Jen said on her blog today REALLY made me realize so much of my struggle is just my attitude. I loved what she said here, but I’ll paste part of it in case you don’t want to read her whole post:

My life is much like a Class V river. You don't possess a whole lot of control when you are in Class V whitewater. You can try to control the river, but you'll quickly realize that you can paddle until your arms feel like they're going to fall off and you're still floating backwards. To some this might be terrifying and make them fear for their lives. But to me, this is heart pounding excitement that lets me know I'm alive. My goal on any given day is to get the little boat that we are floating upon from point A to point B without flipping over, sinking, or running in to rocks. I've learned that for the most part, all you need to do is keep the boat towards the middle of the river and go with the flow, try not to let out too many blood curdling screams and realize that every so often, you will take a wave in the face ... but eventually, you'll dry out.

“…every so often you will take a wave in the face…but eventually, you’ll dry out.”

I love that! It reminded me that this chaos is temporary. I won’t be feeling overwhelmed my whole life. It won’t be hard forever. This is just one point in time in the journey of my Life that I’ve been blessed with. AND I AM IMMENSELY BLESSED! I fully realize I have perfectly valid reasons to be stressed out. I have perfectly valid reasons to be overwhelmed.

But here’s the bottom line: I can CHOOSE to look at the hard stuff in my life and let my emotions guide me into a depression. Or I can CHOOSE to look at the blessings and let that guide me into a joyful frame of mind. So what…I take a wave in the face. I WILL DRY OUT!

There are some struggles in my life that I’m praying to God to give me guidance for and relief from. At this point and time He has not given me any inkling that He will answer me the way I want. If He NEVER answers me, can I be okay with that? Is my current set of circumstances so bad, that I cannot see beyond the challenges I face every day? No. Not at all. AS LONG AS I FOCUS PROPERLY. Today I am choosing to focus on the fact that the little boat our family is on is floating from point A to point B and we’re not flipping over, sinking, or running into rocks.

I’m attempting to go with the flow,

...let out my blood curdling screams when I need to...

...take the waves in my face as just part of the journey...

I will focus on the fact that eventually, I will dry out, in spite of the fact that at the moment I might be gasping for breath.

Today’s Goal: Enjoy the ride! I’m still on the boat and that’s a good start, even if it feels like I'm nowhere near having a grip!

In Love...

2009-05-05T11:00:00.002-05:00

Do you remember the moment you realized you loved your husband? Perhaps before you dated, perhaps when you were dating or even when he proposed? Whatever the moment, the details are most likely seared into your brain.

Believe it or not, the first time I realized I loved N was on our second date. It was Halloween weekend and he invited me over to his place for a homecooked meal and to carve pumpkins. It was pouring cats and dogs that night and I remember feeling very grateful for the new tires on my car as I looked for his house number through the foggy car windows.

After an amazing dinner of broiled proscuitto wrapped chicken covered in provolone and steamed vegetables, we took our glasses of chardonnay out to his back patio to watch the storm. In silence we sipped, and watched the grand lightning storm above us, listened to the huge cracks of thunder and felt the wet of the rain blow onto our bare feet. For almost 30 minutes we didn't say a word. It wasn't even necessary...we were just being. And it was so perfectly comfortable. At some point that night, he silently slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me close and it was at that moment that I felt something...something tell me this was going a long, long way. We never even touched the pumpkins that night.

Who would have known back then that today, 8 1/2 years later, my life would be so rich with this man and all of his amazingness? Those tender arms that pulled me close that night are the same tender arms that love and comfort our little Monkey today.

He doesn't know it, but I fall in love all over again anytime they're together like this.

Cousins!

2009-05-03T00:26:00.000-05:00

Some of N's favorite childhood memories are with his cousins. I have one cousin who is about 15 years younger than me, so the cousin memories I have are mostly of me babysitting. But N has 9 cousins, most of which are close to his age. So when the parents got together, all the cousins would gather to play or spend time getting in trouble together.

This weekend, two of his cousins were in town, one of which has a little girl a few months older than JK. So it was fun to see N and his cousin C with the "next generation". They got along so well and were so cute together.

Here is E sharing her toys with JK...such a gracious little girl!

Gramma and Daddy teaching the monkeys to jump on the sofa. This is going to take forever to teach him NOT to do that...

Sharing a hotdog to refuel. There is something about the expression on JK's face that I just love. So ornery!

Once refueled, attempting the jumping without supervision. A.K.A giving Momma a stroke.

One of the things I really loved about E is that she was a total tom-girl. She actually outpaced JK and it was so funny to watch him try to keep up with her. A few times she took him down, which was very funny! This was just a hug, believe it or not!

The two generations...

The biggest event tonight though, was N's other cousin R getting engaged!!! R was kind of the baby of the cousin group, so this was quite the announcement.

R and his lovely bride-to-be...

R and J toasting...

Celebrating with cake...

J, you are going to marry into one spectacular family! When I said yes to N, I had no idea what an amazing blessing I was about to receive along with my marriage. I hope you find solace and joy in this special group of people like I have!

R, congratulations sweetie! We love you so much and are so happy you've found your place in life with the right lady at your side. The last few years have contained some spectacular changes in our lives. God has been good to all of us!

The Library

2009-05-02T22:07:00.017-05:00

Today after our naps we went to the local library to see a Chinese Lion Dance. I thought it'd be fun to share some of my step-mother's heritage with our Monkey. If you've never seen a lion dance, it's basically a pair (or more, depending on the length of the costume) of young men underneath a dragon costume dancing to the chorus of a drumline in the background. The face is usually bright and flashy and fierce looking and the young men dance around, making the dragon move in some pretty entertaining ways.

In retrospect, it was probably not a good idea to take JK without prepping him for it first. Because upon entering the performance area, the blue lion had worked itself into the crowd and came bounding over to us, which terrified Monkey. Poor kid tried to climb up me even though I was holding him in my arms. I think he was trying to sit on my head. I felt so awful! Our Fearless Wonder was literally shaking the rest of the performance. Poor baby! Apologies for the lack of decent pictures. I was too busy calming him to get many good shots.

We thought maybe if he saw the costumes laying on the floor and the boys out of them, then maybe he wouldn't be so scared...

...but the second the boys got back into costume, he got scared again.

It was a wonderful performance for N and I to watch, but we were a bit relieved when the crowd departed. It was hard watching our son be so stressed out. So we decided to go scope out the rest of the libray. We discovered they have a wonderful children's section.

JK spotted Curious George from across the room and we barely kept up with him after that.

Then Arthur was spotted and loved on...

...and then the fish tank was oohed and ahhed over...

Where we we again? Oh yeah...the library! That means lots of books! Oh...the books. Monkey was in awe...

Watching the big kids play on the videos...

Did you know there was a large version of "Goodnight Moon"?

Checking out the skies before heading out to brave the downpour...a successful afternoon despite the scariness of the Lion Dance and torrential rains.

Swine Flu

2009-04-27T19:52:00.005-05:00

While I know I don't need to apologize, I feel the need to. Why, I'm not sure. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a worrier by nature. I'm not sure if it's because those years of infertility and pregnancy loss, have caused me to always feel like the other shoe is going to drop. I'm not sure if it's because I have a legitimate reason to worry. I don't know.

All I know for sure, is the only person in charge of my health and my family's health is me. Out of the 40 verified swine flu cases in the US, one is a few mere miles from my home, in my city. Our city's school district has closed down a local elementary school, where there has been a verified case of the swine flu with one of their students. A little too close to home if you ask me. But not only that, it is in the neighborhood directly across the street from Monkey's school. Now THAT is a little too close to home.

Call me aware. Call me prepared. Call me an over-compensator. Call me flat out paranoid. I don't care. This is being sprayed ALL OVER OUR HOUSE and then some.

Maybe this pandemic ends up being nothing. If so, then my efforts to protect ourselves causes no harm whatsoever. Either way, I'm not taking any chances. I have two little boys that need their Momma and I don't plan on doing anything to jeopardize that.

In the meantime, please pray over the family in our community that is personally affected by this.

Male Bonding

2009-04-26T14:25:00.012-05:00

One of the things that I find so sexy about my husband is his ability to fix almost anything. He's not an engineer by trade, but his brain just seems to really understand mechanics and he's willing to take on almost anything that needs fixed or built just so he can learn something new. I love that about him! He gets that from his dad I think, as Mr. W is the same way.

So yesterday they spent some bonding time under the hood of my car getting it ready for inspection.

Our neighbor coming over to offer help and encouragement.

"Hey, my Daddy doesn't need no help..."

Daddy ended up needing to run to the auto parts store, so De-Da took Monkey on a walk. Which ended up being a stick hunt.

Here is our sweet neighbor sharing a big stick from her yard. I think he's smitten.

Showing off the spoils to Daddy.

After fixing the car, it was time to come inside from the hot Texas sun and have some cold lemonade and watch the Mavericks spank San Antonio.

Yay! The Mavs win!

The other thing I find really sexy about my husband is his understanding that quality time with his family is so important. It ended up just being a wonderful afternoon all around watching the men in my life bond. It's this type of stuff that will build a wonderful life foundation and memories for my son as he grows older. It's something that I can't wait to see continue as we add M2 to the mix.

I'm just feeling overwhelmingly blessed today! :-)

The Bird Watcher

2009-04-21T09:47:00.003-05:00

Working from home today. The weather is beautiful and I’m having a hard time concentrating on my spreadsheet. I want to go to Calloway’s and buy some petunias to plant in the front and drink lemonade when I get too hot. There are fuzzy, wispy white clouds in a gorgeous blue sky. The sun is warm and welcoming. I think the high today is supposed to be in the low 80's. The breeze is rustling the maple leaves by our driveway. Two male black birds are chirping and preening in my front yard, courting the lone female pecking at the stones on our sidewalk. The squirrels are running up and down along our fence, driving my dog nuts.

My sweet kitty girl is taking it all in from the front door. I think she is feeling the Spring Fever too.

At Least It's Not a Green Mohawk

2009-04-18T21:39:00.012-05:00

We finally bit the bullet. Today we finally got Monkey's hair cut at a children's specialty salon by our home. He had a hard time with the spray bottle and the electric trimmers, they scared him. Other than that, he did really great! We were pretty proud. Although a Baby Einstein video and a banana sucker can do wonders to distract.

I can't type much more without crying, so I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Our baby is growing up and I'm having a little bit of a hard time with it.

Another customer next to us. My gut feeling is that Dad is sleeping on the sofa tonight. Mom wasn't with them.

I'm just blown away by how much MORE he looks like his Daddy now!

Confessions

2009-04-10T21:11:00.001-05:00

Dang it girls - why does this stuff pop up on your blogs when I have so much crap to confess??? This accountability thing is just not cool. :-S

1. A few Sunday's ago I made two dozen peanut butter cookies. I ate 20 of them in about 72 hours.

2. Three kids that I knew from high school invited me to be their friends on Facebook. I declined their invites because they were really mean to me back then. Why would I want to be your friend, when the majority of my memories of you are you making fun of me being a nerd?

3. I'm scared of grand daddy long legs.

4. I don't like my latest hair cut. Which was to fix the first haircut from a few weeks before. I think the aliens are calling me home.

5. I bought a bag of gluten-free cookies a few nights ago. They lasted about 48 hours.

6. I'm supposed to be cooking dinner, but I don't feel like getting my butt off this sofa. Do tortilla chips and salsa constitute as two servings of vegetables? Corn and tomatoes?

7. I'm lonely. My sweet N has been in bed for two hours already with the sickies. (BTW, if you have a moment, please pray over him. He's got pneumonia.)

*sigh*

I'm so wishing I had some PB cookies to make myself feel better after this.

Spring Has Sprung!

2009-04-07T11:27:00.020-05:00

This past Saturday, in spite of runny noses and coughs, we decided to venture out and enjoy the nice weather. A little chilly and windy in the morning, but the afternoon was really nice!

At our church's Easter Egg Hunt that morning...

Hey wait...I'm not done collecting the eggs. Momma needs more chocolate!!! (That's my boy!)

Scoping out the bounce houses...aka My Three Favorite Guys in The World!

Standing in line with Daddy for the bouncey slide...

...but then deciding that watching from the sidelines is a little less scary.

And then Daddy teaching me to drive and honk the horn once we got to our driveway. De-da's truck is so much fun!

Saturday afternoon was a little more fun. We'd had a nap, lunch, and the sun finally came out. So we went to the park where we played and fed the ducks!

(We also wore our Fox t-shirt in honor of my new little cousin born just the day before!)

So many things...what should I do first?

I'll start with a simple game of Tic-Tac-Toe. This isn't too bad...

This swing is pretty awesome!

But nothing is quite like the slide! I love this thing! Especially head first!

Watching some pretty girls blow bubbles...

Hey Momma, I wanna go over there! Let's feed the ducks or go fishing!

Oh, okay, I'll hold your hand. You treat me like such a baby. *deep sigh*

We have since been down and out with colds, fevers, and staying cooped up even though the weather is stunning. Boo! Please pray for all of us to recover quickly!

Welcome to the World DFM!!!

2009-04-04T20:34:00.014-05:00

Last night, my sweet brother and SIL, J and C, had their first baby! DF was born at 7:06 pm at 7lbs 5oz via a natural/no med birth. Go C! I'm just a tiny bit partial, but I think he's stunning. My first nephew. I really never even imagined what this would be like, but it's pretty freakin' awesome.

Welcome to our world sweet boy! We are so happy you're healthy and here and can't wait to meet you. We love you! C, I CANNOT TELL you how PROUD I am of you!!! J, your life is about to ROCK. All good stuff!

Auntie A and Uncle N

Do they look in awe or what? C's expression makes this one of my favorite shots ever.

DF and Momma...

My sweet baby brother J looks so proud. I still cannot believe he's even old enough to have a child. I changed HIS diapers!

More proud Daddy...

C and my other SIL, J, who's next. She's due in May and then I'm due in July. LOTS of babies this year in the M family!

Proud Daddy, Uncle J, Auntie J, Popo (Gramma in Chinese)...

Thanks to my Dad, this amazing event was photographed like a documentary. (Which is why there aren't any shots of him.) Thanks Dad!

Random Pictures

2009-04-01T20:25:00.010-05:00

Just some random pictures taken the past few weeks of my two favorite guys in the world!

Reading his favorite book with Daddy. (Does he look like a little N in this shot or what???) I find it funny that he loves "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" so much, considering what a picky eater he is. But he always turns straight to the Saturday page to point at the hotdog and lollipop. LOL!

Tornado drill. This was the morning after a huge storm came through. I hadn't taken the pillows, blanket, Momo and book out of the tub yet. He kept busy while Daddy brushed his teeth.

Looking cool in some shades, while eating some fries on the road.

Riding the carousel in Grapevine...not sure what to think about this. He was very stoic the entire time.

What happens when the applesauce is all gone...

Watching neighborhood traffic. Man I adore these guys!

Halle-lu-jah!

2009-03-28T20:04:00.007-05:00

Halle-lu-jah!
Halle-lu-jah!

No it's not Christmas, but it IS a day of celebration around here! Get ready for this:

Monkey has eaten YOGURT! No I take that back...he DEVOURED yogurt! :-D

I'm sure this does not seem like a big deal to most of you. But considering the picky picky eater we have on our hands, this is a BIG DEAL in our house.

We have been attempting to get some kind of dairy product down this child since we weaned him off bottles about 6 weeks ago. He REFUSES to drink milk now in a sippy. We've tried regular, soy, chocolate, rice...nothing has worked. He won't eat cheese, drink those yogurt drinkables, ice cream, or yogurt. I tried to find some other foods with calcium, but the only thing I could ever get him to eat was broccoli. Which made him...um...a little "airy"? When I asked his pediatrician how to get calcium down him, he suggested getting him to eat Tums. LOLOL! Uh...yeah. I can't even eat those. *gag*

So until today, he wouldn't touch yogurt. But instead of his applesauce dessert at lunch today, I tried a strawberry cheesecake yogurt in his bowl. And it was a hit.

*Mommy is doing the happy dance...and holding her breath because this probably won't work again tomorrow. LOL!*

Since moving to the toddler room FT at school last month, he's been using utensils, so I think that was the trick. Eating from a spoon himself made the difference!

The "tilt" so he gets all of it...

And when that doesn't work, just lick straight out of the bowl...

This little guy just has my heartstrings all bundled up in a messy ball!

The Long and The Short Of It

2009-03-24T22:55:00.000-05:00

This is for Mandy and all the other girls doing their online makeovers. I haven't done it, but thought I'd give you the real life master and disaster-pieces I've worn over the years...

For those of you that have known me for a long time, know that my hair has been through A LOT. Outside of my uterus, it's my most fickle body part and like my uterus, we've had this love-hate relationship for many years. Nothing stable about it. When it's good, it's REALLY good. When it's bad, it's horrid.

But it hasn't always been like that. It used to always be horrid. I had a span from when I was about 10 until 19, where I just generally had really BAD hair. During most of this time, my mom cut it. Badly.

Sorry, Momma, I still love you so very much for teaching me how to cook and wear high heels and loving me unconditionally!

Just for kicks, here is just a little history of that awful time period in my life.

As you can see, my hair evolution was pretty warped. But to my mother's credit, it WAS the 80's and we thought her hairstyle was really cool too.

Momma, you didn't think you were immune to the humiliation do you? Bwahahahaha!!!

Just to make up for that, here's a shot of a more recent Momma and you can see she has changed with the times too. She now carries herself with a more classic, tasteful style, which I love!

Since then, I've taken matters into my own hands and started going to the pros. I've spend hundreds of dollars on spiral perms, a few dollars on boxes of Clairol, gone to Supercuts, gone to the Four Seasons, done everything imaginable to these poor locks. One thing hasn't changed from the earlier years: My hair evolves from season to season. Rarely do I keep a style for very long. I guess I'm the fickle one now.

Some of you have seen me go through this evolution...not all of it good!

A really bad phase of blonde...

Trying to grow out the blonde and easing the pain with the help of Shinerbock and very good friends that love me no matter how bad my hair is...

I finally cut off all the blonde and into my life wanders this really hot guy. I knew I shouldn't have colored it...

This hot guy sticks around on the promise that I never again go blonde and he eventually asks me to marry him...

Eventually I grow into this Demi Moore style, including her penchant for the hot younger guy...

Trimmed with a little scrunching of newfound curls, thanks to hormones...

Having fun with long layers...

Little Monkey shows up and the long layers just weren't working anymore. Off go 18 inches to Locks of Love...

And then while I was browsing for hair pictures, I came across this picture from three years ago and just had to share. Yeah, I had cute Lost Girl braids, but I think the hottest style is Luke's piratey tresses.

(Click on the picture to enlarge.)

I mean, what girl doesn't fantasize over long, wavy, black locks blowing in the wind, at least once in her life? Since I can't have that style with two monkeys running underfoot, I decide to work with what I got and stick with a cute Lisa Rinna flippy-do. Short, sassy, easy to maintain, and I don't have to cut it every 4 weeks because my hair grows so fast.

For those of you that recommended the darling stylist at Salons on the Creek, THANK YOU! She listened to me and snipped away and didn't give me one story about aliens visiting or having the ability to read my mind.

Although...now that I'm typing that out, I'm thinking that having the ability to read minds might not be a bad trait for a hairstylist to have. Hmmm....

Anyways, I thought she did a wonderful job, but I'm already moving onto something new. This cut just isn't working, so I'm seeing her again this Saturday. It's really cute, but it's a LOT more work than I imagined and for some reason it seems since the cut three weeks ago, my hair has grown out too long for it to work anymore. :-(

See picture #2 above. It doesn't look quite this bad, but that's how it feels.

Hopefully, by the time some of you see me on Sunday morning, it'll look cute again!

Godly Stewardship

2009-03-24T12:10:00.003-05:00

For those of you that have journeyed with me on the Weekly Menu Plan and Weekly Shopping Trip, I apologize for not posting about those in several weeks. I AM STILL DOING IT! I had a tough week and then two really great weeks that made up for it. But I have not fallen off the wagon. In fact, Monkey Momma is blogging about it in a different place now. A new blog called Godly Stewardship. I'll be focusing on the Menu Plan, Shopping Trips (and tips) and other methods of making the most of what God has provided our family over yonder. This site will be more narrowly focused on the amazing men in my family: N, Monkey, and M2. This will allow grandparents and distant family to see the picture postings here without having to wade through boring posts about what I've shopped for at Target this week. *yawn* Sorry Gramma! I know you're thrilled to know that I saved .50 on double coupon day! LOL!

So come over and visit if you'd like. If not, no biggie. The new blog is really more an experiment in accountability and journal of making the most of what we're given. Which, if I'm really honest with myself...that's a LOT!

Slo-Mo

2009-03-21T22:04:00.003-05:00

Just recently a friend of ours lost a close friend of hers. I didn't know him. But he was 33 and sat up in bed with a massive heart attack one morning, dying instantly. He left behind a young wife with two young children under 3. He was 33!

Then there's the story of Natasha Richardson this past week.

Both stories just break my heart and I've cried tears for both families over the course of the last few weeks. And I don't know either of these folks! Call it pregnancy hormones, but I don't think that's all.

Since JK's arrival, N and I have been pretty good about really seizing the moment within our family. We have our selfish/too-wrapped-up-in-to-do-list moments, but generally, we are more apt to let the dishes and laundry pile than not enjoy a moment with each other or our son. Dishes and dirty laundry can wait. Our son will only be 18 months old once. Anything could prevent one of us from taking another breath. Will a chore list or a selfish desire be the thing to keep me from missing those moments in time?

In spite of being pretty good about this, this week I've been hyper-aware that life can change on a dime. Almost to the point where my days this week seem to be in slow motion. Not the bad, "OMG, is this day going to end soon?" slow motion. But the kind of slow motion where you can really soak up each sound, smell, emotion, detail of the moment. Admittedly, these slow motion moments have not happened at work (Haha - surprised right? LOL!), but specifically with my son, my husband, and a few special moments I've had with girl friends.

I've been very aware that these moments are gifts, that God is giving me something to cherish and implant in my memory because someday I will be recalling it. So I grasp tightly to the sunlight flashing through my son's hair while he plays trucks with N by our front window. I listen closely to the emotion in the song playing in the background. I linger on the scent of my husband's after-shave when he pulls me into a squeeze. I hug my girl friend tighter as we part.

I almost didn't post this, because there is a tiny part of me that is scared to say it out loud. But that same tiny part is wondering WHY God would have me implant that in memory...what's He about to do, yanno? I know...sounds crazy, but there it is.

So lately, I think to myself that if God or circumstance were to remove my loved ones from my life, would I have any regrets about our final moments together? I would be devastated of course. Sad beyond belief. Our son is the light of our lives and this family just does not work without my husband there. My girl friends are some of the biggest blessings I've ever had. The loss of any of the above, would leave terrible, irrepairable holes in my life. But this week, I can honestly say that I would not have much regret. I've attempted to live every moment with my loved ones as immersed as I could possibly be. I know that this is hard to do every moment, every day, every year of our lives. But this is a start for me. I'm trying. I don't always do it well, but at least I'm doing it.

What do you need to do to let go of the obstacles that prevent you from LIVING and LOVING right now? Is it a chore list? Is it a hobby? Is it work? Don't assume you can put it off until tomorrow. It might never come...

Momma's Baby Steps

2009-03-16T20:00:00.003-05:00

Today was an exciting start to our week in the W family! This morning we spent 2 hours in the ER because JK fell into a metal end table at Gramma’s house. Upon investigation, Gramma notices there’s a cut in the middle of his forehead. A frantic phone call to Mommy's office has us deciding that a trip to the ER wasn't such a bad idea. Monkey seemed fine, but the cut was pretty deep and because of the placement (smack dab in the middle of the forehead), we thought a doctor taking a look might be best. So I tell my boss what happened, race to the ER, and start filling out paperwork while I wait for Gramma to show up.

A few minutes later, I see them walk into the ER waiting room. Monkey looks fine. Sippy cup in one hand, stuffed monkey in the other and a big grin as he sees me. “Momma!” As he gets closer, he points to his head and goes, “Ow”, proudly showing me his injury. Yep, we definitely need to be at the ER. This was no cut, but more along the lines of a gash.

As we wait to get called, Monkey keeps himself busy watching Handy Manny on TV and looking at the fish in the fake aquarium. Occasionally, letting Mommy and Gramma mop his head with a washcloth. But it’s hard to keep this little guy still. He actually seems a little hyper and too happy. Very surreal to witness while he has this huge ugly red hole in the middle of his forehead. Weird. Later the nurse says he was probably running off adrenaline, thus the elevated energy.

Finally we’re ushered in to meet a PA. He was great! He was a young, charismatic man with a long dark ponytail, named Tad. Monkey took to him right away. All smiles, chatting, high-fiving. Tad took a look at our little guy and said it would definitely need stitches, but didn’t think it necessary for a plastic surgeon. So all was going fine. Until we had to wrap Monkey in a straight-jacket fashioned out of a sheet, so we could hold him down for the lidocaine shots and the stitches.

Oh my word. There really are no words to explain how I felt at that point.

For the next 10 minutes, I listened to my child scream, plead and beg for me while he’s scared, in pain, and cannot move. The fear in his eyes was the worst. I was watching my son go through an immensely fearful and painful process and yet just KNEW that it was in his best interests to let him go through it. I know he was confused and didn’t understand why Momma and Gramma were contributing to this torture. My heart was breaking!

This is the part of parenthood that people SAY is going to be hard, but until you’re there, you JUST. DON’T. GET. IT. The flood of protective emotions is immense. Like nothing I’ve experienced before! But I think to myself that I have to be calm and strong, otherwise I’m no help to anyone. So I focus on other thoughts. Like, knowing what I know about my son and most of the men in the W clan, that this is probably just the first of many ER visits. There WILL be more stitches, more broken bones, and other injuries in Monkey’s future. Most of which, I will have to sit back and allow him to go through MORE pain in order to get well for the long run.

As the procedure wrapped up, my fear began to release the constriction around my throat. I was so proud of my little man! I could tell he had exhausted himself with crying and he was starting to relax. Nothing but little hiccups under the swath of blue paper covering his face. He had really worked up a sweat crying and fighting, so once we sat him up, he was soaked and exhausted. His face all puffy from crying, wet curly hair sticking in every direction. And SEVEN, count ‘em, SEVEN bright blue thready stitches closing up an angry red hole. The assisting PA said that Tad was the best seamstress they had in the ER, so we were in good hands. I hope so. Those stitches are right in the middle of my precious baby’s forehead. I try not to think of the scar it might leave.

Monkey actually lets me cuddle with him for a few moments, which is rare. He’s not a cuddler since he hit toddler-dom. My poor Monkey! As he hiccuped into my neck, I had an overwhelming urge to turn, run, and somehow stick him back in my belly where I knew it was safe and all his needs would be met. But it dawns on me in that split second cuddle, that those days of safety and control are long gone. That’s another part of parenthood that you don’t really get until you’re there: at some point you have to let go. The concept that this is just a baby step in that direction is a hard pill to swallow. Someday, he’ll be off to school, off driving with a permit, off going on a date, off going to college. All bigger steps towards the eventuality of what he's meant to do: off living independently with his own family, making independent decisions, struggling to watch his own independent child grow up.

*sigh*

How can this experience be so amazing and blessing-filled and wonderful and still sooo hard?

I watched my son with a mix of relief and sadness as he struggled to free himself from my arms. He'd spotted a latex glove that had been blown into a balloon and wants to kick it. He turns and smiles and says, "Bwoon".

"Yes, baby, that's your balloon," I said, gulping away the lump in my throat.

Thankfully, watching my son start his own family is at least two decades away. Until then, I’ll just take my tiny baby steps, while I watch him take his big boy steps.

So The Search Begins...

2009-03-06T14:56:00.002-06:00

I talked to my OB today about all the changes going on in her office. Specifically, the inattentiveness from her MA and the rest of the staff not really being as patient focused anymore. While she acknowledged the changes and apologized for me being unhappy, she made it clear that “this is just the way things are now” in their office due to their new office manager. Basically, if I want her to be my doctor, I just have to deal with the new “business changes” that she doesn’t control anymore.

I’m disappointed. This is so not what I wanted. I really love my OB and even the other doctors in the practice, all of whom I’ve met. I just don’t like the new support staff. But today it was made obvious that they are a package deal. I’ve already started making monthly payments towards them handling this delivery, so I’m not sure if I’ll get that money back now. I’ve made a call to the billing department to find out. See, I don’t even know who handles billing anymore! Diane isn’t there anymore and now it’s “the billing department”.

I’m just bummed. Not just from the experience thus far, but from the fact that I’m even having to consider searching for a new OB half way through a pregnancy. I’m scared. Nervous. I wanted this experience to be as good, if not better than my birth experience with Monkey. Unless I decide to just tough it out with these issues, I’ll be dealing with all brand new people at a new OB’s office.

After the appointment, just out of curiosity, I walked about 4 doors down the hospital hall to Dr. O’s office. He’s an OB that used to be with this same practice, but as of the last few months is no longer. When I entered his waiting room, I thought maybe I could schedule an appointment with him to just interview him. But he had time right then to talk for about 20 minutes, which suprised me. He was very kind and listened to everything I had to share. He said he left the practice and went independent for the exact same reasons I’m unhappy. And he was one of the founding doctors of that practice, so it felt good that I wasn’t alone in my opinion. He didn’t expound on his opinion or speak badly of them, but was very professional about it. I’ve been considering a VBAC (natural Bradley birth) delivery, so I asked him his stance on that. He shared WHY he came to the conclusion he doesn’t recommend VBACs and especially natural VBACs – stating details from several formal medical studies from reputable medical journals. He was very matter of fact and firm in his stance, which I appreciated. My current OB stated her opinion, but couldn’t really state WHY and definitely didn’t speak with the confidence of Dr. O.

To finish things, Dr. O said he’d be happy to take me on as a patient, but that he didn’t want me to make the decision today. He felt since I’d just left Dr. H’s office and was feeling so disappointed, that I needed some time to mull over what happened. He also said this would also give me the opportunity to explore/interview other OBs. I thought that was cool too, as it made me feel like he really wanted me to WANT him as my doctor. He stated to me that he’s been practicing medicine for over 30 years and had an established patient base. So he’s not looking/hurting for business. When he takes on new patients, he wants them to feel they can trust him. This made me feel good too. I didn’t feel like I was getting a sales pitch or that he was excited about taking patients from his former practice.

I’ve got a few other referrals I’m thinking of exploring, so we’ll see. My immediate prayer is that our little son stay healthy and continue growing well and that his Momma not stress out over during this interim process. I’m just trying to remember that, just like the bassinette, that God has a plan. I just need to trust in His timing in the revelation of that.

18 Things I Love About You

2009-03-04T21:15:00.001-06:00

Little Monkey,

This past month or two has grown you into such a big boy! We simply can't believe how much can change in such a short period of time. It's so easy for us to find things we love about you, but in celebration of your year and a half birthday, we'll try to keep it at 18.

I'll be surprised if we don't lose people in the midst of this blog posting!

So sorry dear readers...this is really more for my mommy journal than anything!

I love how much of a boy you are! Everything right now is about trucks and balls and being as loud as you can possibly be. We are working on your "inside voice", but it's so hard because when you're busy screaming, it really is funny to me. My laughter just seems to encourage it. You also have a really great strong aim when it comes to balls. We think you might be an athlete in the making.
I love how happy you are in the mornings. You cry until we come into your bedroom, but the moment you see us, you are all smiles. Usually, all your stuffed animals, pillows, blankets and sometimes socks are laying on the floor. Which is upsetting to you. We still can't figure out why you throw them there to begin with.
I love how verbal you've become. We've already lost count of how many words you now know, but there are a lot! Lately your favorite thing is to point at something and say, "Whassat?" or "Whassis?" When we ask you back, you almost always say what it is, whether it's a body part, a color, an item, a person. Sometimes you just chatter away in babble and we have no idea what you say, but you follow it with a huge smile when you see our confused expressions. Sometimes I think you're teasing us!
I love how you love music so much. Gramma C got you a little jambox that sticks to the fridge. Every morning while you wait for Mommy or Daddy to get your "jooz" (juice), you push those buttons and dance your little heart out. I find it especially funny that you enjoy rap or almost any music with a hard base. You are definitely your Daddy's boy in that regard!
I love how you go to bed without any issues. After bathtime, the routine is very standard and comfortable to you. Tonight, we said our prayers like we do every night and for the first time, you said, "AMEN!" at the end of it, which made me laugh. Then when I put you in your crib, you said, "Nigh-nigh" and blew me a kiss. You are such a precious boy! Please teach this to your little brother when he arrives!
I love how your stuffed monkey Momo is your best friend. You talk to him, you cry with him, you share your food and drinks with him. We hope this is good practice for when you become a big brother! Today I gave you Momo in the car after school. You picked up Momo's hand, making it wave to you and said, "Hi!" and then you said "Hi" back. I find it so funny that you are already pretending so early!
I love how much you love your Daddy. You follow him around everywhere when he's home and you get very upset when he leaves in the mornings. If he's in another room, you want to be with him and if he's not home, you always ask about him. You love wrestling with him and you love taking naps with him on the weekends, which makes me love you both all the more. I hope that you can grow up with a strong relationship with him, because he is the finest man you will ever meet!
I love how tenderhearted you are. While you are a rough and tumble little boy, your feelings get hurt easily. While I hate to see you upset, I know that someday you will learn to use your sensitivities to be tenderhearted towards those that need it. We hope that we can teach that skill to you.
I love it when you call for me. This seriously never gets old to me. "Momma?" as you walk around the house looking for me. For so many years I longed to hear that word in my ears and you are the first one to say it. I know someday it might be, "Mother!" out of exasperation, but for now, I relish in your little boy voice calling out for me. As I type this, I wonder if that's how God feels when we come to him in prayer. Does he relish in our heart's verbiage as much as I relish in interacting with you?
I love how you never walk. You almost always run everywhere you go. You are always on the move and it's a rare thing to share a still moment with you. But I love hearing the pitter-patter of your little feet running down the hallway. And I love watching you going 90 miles an hour. As an older Momma, I get tired easily just watching you, but your energy is one of my favorite things about you!
I love your curly hair. So much so that I can't bring myself to cut it. Yes, more often than not, strangers give us compliments on how beautiful our little girl is. Or what a cutie our daughter is. Even when we dress you in very obvious dinosaur/truck/sports/monster boy clothes with Spiderman tennis shoes, your hair is so beautiful and your little face so pretty, that people don't even notice your clothes. They just think you're a pretty little girl. I've stopped correcting them and just try to see you in their eyes. And yes, they're right: you are beautiful!
I love how curious you are. While sometimes it's challenging for us to keep your little hands out of dangerous places, I love how you are always wanting to see new things to learn, or find new places to explore. It is such a joy to us to watch your face while you discover something new or find a new game to play.
I love how fearless you are. You really do not understand the concept of danger. While I'd like to think this is just the innocence of toddler-hood, I know that this is a classic W family trait that's in your genes. You are exactly like your Daddy and De-Da. Neither of them have any fears when it comes to physical activity. I know today this fearlessness shows up in the form of climbing anything that will hold your weight. But I cringe in the knowledge that someday this means you'll be skiing down double-black diamonds with Daddy in Taos. But honestly, I'd much rather you not be scared of a lot than have a spirit of fear your whole life.
I love how you really know no strangers. While you are initially reserved like your Daddy, after you've engaged with someone for even just a few words, you are quick to chat and charm. In this aspect, you are very much like your De-da: engaging, happy, charismatic, and genuine.
I love how your are starting to learn your manners. While we still struggle with the occasional melt-down, you are learning to say "Pease" (please), "Dat-you" (thank you), and the other night, you walked right up to some of Daddy's coworkers with your little hand extended to shake their hands. We were so surprised and so proud of you!
I know someday this will embarrass you, but I'm so sorry. I can't ignore it and I must mention it. I love watching you run around the house in your diaper and socks. With your curly, uncut, unruly hair, this just reminds me that you still have some baby in you. You're definitely starting to hit the independence of the Terrible Twos, but watching you run down the hall half nekkid always chokes me up and reminds me that no matter what, you'll always be my first baby.
Speaking of independence, I love how independent you've become. You can now eat with a spoon and fork quite successfully. You are also learning to put on your shoes, although the socks are still a bit challenging. You are learning to wash yourself at bathtime with the bubbles. You are even learning to blow your nose when it's running!
Most of all, my sweet son, I love the fact that you are MINE. While I know you are really God's on loan to me, I feel like the luckiest Momma in the world to be the one that GETS to raise you. I am realizing more and more that it's a calling to raise a W boy. I was called to it, just like your Gramma C and Gramma F were called to raise W boys. Both of those ornery, active, smart little boys have turned into magnificent men of God. If I can do half the job with you that they did on your Daddy and De-da, then I'll consider it successful.

You bring us so much joy, so many good tears, so much laughter every single day. I honestly cannot remember what our lives were like before you arrived. It was like color suddenly arrived and we had no idea life was black and white before! You enrich us in so many ways, that this list is just the beginning. Thank you for being you. We pray that we can do what is needed to make you the man that God will call you to be. We pray that we can give to you the unconditional love that is needed for you to feel secure and strong in this world and still look forward to the Kingdom we're all adopted into.

We love you so very much sweet boy! You make us proud every day!

Momma and Daddy

Menu Plan Monday - 3/2/09

2009-03-02T15:05:00.004-06:00

N's out on a ski trip this week, so I'm attempting to make some items that will make two meals so I can freeze some of the extra portions. This really helps on the dash-in-dine lunches that we inevitably spend money on during the week. Plus, with him gone, I'll actually have the time in the evening to spend time cooking sans guilt. The house should be pretty spic-n-span too!

Amazing how much I get done when he's not here. Am I the only Mom/Wife like this???

MONDAY: Leftover chicken and potatoes
TUESDAY: Mexican Polenta Bake
WEDNESDAY: Gluten-free/Dairy-free Lasagne
THURSDAY: Breakfast (Eggs, bacon, applesauce)
FRIDAY: Egg Salad Sandwiches

WEEKEND: We'll see. With N gone, things will be either uber-easy or we'll be treating ourselves to eating out a bit. :-)

To meet more Menu Planners and get some dinner ideas, visit Laura over at OrgJunkie.com.